Awake in the Dark
by Kitty Cullen-03
Summary: People came here for the thrill. They came for the unknown. They came for the pleasure. And it was my job to give it to them. Rated M for strong adult themes. AH/OOC
1. Chapter 1

**Here I am again, my lovlies! This story just hit me one night, and I couldn't pass up the opportunity to write it. It's a big step for me, because this is AH-and I've only done a o/s that is AH. This will be multi-chaptered and this will be smut-tastic. You have been warned. Some material presented may be offensive to some of you, so you know what to do. **

**A big thanks to my twitter ladies for helping me out with this when it was in its early stages-your encouragement helped a lot!**

**Thanks to Chelsie Whitlock, who beta'd this for me and gave me some excellent advice. And to lacym3, one of my partners in crime, for giving me her input and being a sounding board.**

People came here for the thrill.

They came for the unknown.

They came for the pleasure.

And it was my job to give it to them.

* * *

The room was dark. It was always dark. That's what made it fun, you see. When my customers come in, they're blindfolded. There are no lights, no sounds. There is a bed, and there is me. My clients are restrained, and all control is relinquished to me.

I'm in the business of pleasure.

And I'm good.

There was something…exceptionally tantalizing about sensory deprivation; the way you give yourself over to your body. All of your focus is on what you're feeling; what the other person is giving you. It was the most basic form of pleasure.

"Mr. Whitlock? Your 3 o'clock is here." The receptionist stuck her head in and let me know my appointment had arrived. As she was being prepared, I set everything up. I tightened the lace restraints, changed the sheets, and pulled myself into character. She entered and waited obediently by the door for my command. From the candlelight I could tell she was wearing a matching set of black underwear. She was leggy and blonde, looked to be about mid-30s. My clients were usually older than me, and this was no different. The candlelight made it easier for me to see until she was in position.

I approached her and placed my hands on her shoulders. "I'm going to walk you to the bed. Lie flat on your back and place your hands above your head." I said as I moved her. When her knees hit the bed, she crawled forward and got into position. I tied the restraints around her hands, leaving them firm but not too tight. I leaned over and blew out the candle, plunging myself into total darkness.

"I have three rules. If you are, at any point, uncomfortable with what I'm doing, your safe word is Ranger. You must keep the blindfold on at all times. And when you scream, scream my name-Jasper."

My hands ghosted across her abdomen, feeling my way up her torso and around each breast, grasping them firmly before letting my hands slide back down. She had a nice body, and she writhed underneath my touch. I brought my face down to her stomach and licked a line straight up through the valley of her breasts and underneath her chin. I straddled her stomach and felt for her hands where they were tied to the bed. My fingers ghosted down her arms, raising goose bumps as they trailed down to the crook of her elbows. I let myself feel every inch of her, letting her feel only the tips of my fingers. Every inch of her soft skin was begging to be touched. I nipped and bit my way to her waiting nipples, taking each one in my mouth and sucking hard. She let out a feral grunt and bucked her hips towards me, impatient for more. I smacked her lightly on the thigh for that.

"Easy. Impatience never got anyone anything," I chided, pulling away completely. I heard her sharp intake of breath, but I didn't feel the bed move and she didn't make any more noises. "Good girl." I found my way back to her body and let my fingers pull at the hem of her underwear. I removed them slowly, allowing the wetness to trail down her legs. I thrust two fingers inside of her with no warning, enjoying the way she groaned in response. I started moving them harder and faster while my free hand pulled at her nipple. She was panting and pressing into my hand, begging for release without having to say a word. She was desperate for it. "You'll cum when I say you can." I pulled my fingers out and trailed them up to her lips. "Suck." She immediately obliged, pulling my fingers inside and sucking her wetness off. When she was finished, I yanked my boxers down and tossed them into the un-ending darkness. I quickly encased my cock inside of her after applying the necessary form of protection and began moving at a fevered pace. Fast and hard. Faster and harder. She had managed to wrap her legs around me and began pulling me closer with her feet as I let my hands work every inch of her that I could reach. I could feel it building; she was tensing and her movements were becoming erratic. I arched into her one last time.

"Jasper!" she grunted as she came, and I followed suit.

* * *

I had 5 appointments that day. All women, all beautiful. That was the crux of my clientele. I was a character. I played a part. The women came to me because they wanted sex without strings, and they loved the fact that everything was completely anonymous. They didn't have to see me, and since they were blindfolded I didn't see the shame in their eyes. It was perfect for those looking for a little release. Sometimes, if the women requested, we would play a bit-there were chains on the walls and whips in the supply room. Sometimes there was no penetration and I would take them to the brink and back with my hands. But the bed was enough for most. And it worked for me because nobody knew me. I could walk down the streets and not worry about being recognized-the only person who knew my 'identity' was my receptionist, Angela, and she wouldn't say a word.

But it didn't save me from the lack of a normal life.

I had no family, no friends; I was too introverted to be social. I only let loose at work, when I had the luxury of the dark. I don't consider myself socially awkward; I just find it difficult to be around large groups of people and in turn have trouble picking out individuals I may get along with. People can be…overwhelming to me. When they get in a frenzy, trying to impress each other and gain the upper hand, I have to leave.

I headed to the bar down the street from my 'office' to grab a quick drink before heading home and starting all over again. I couldn't stop the thoughts that always paraded my head after a day of work-why I didn't have friends, why I couldn't keep a girlfriend. I never told the girls I dated what I did-partly to keep that part of me safe and the other part to keep them from running away screaming. They always did anyway. They would take me to meet their friends, and I would fold up and turn sour. No wonder nobody wanted to be around me. I don't let anyone in. I took a seat at the bar and waited for the bartender to make her way towards me-a new girl, it looked like. She was running around at almost lightening speed, barely tall enough to see over the bar. In fact, I was in doubt of the fact that she was even old enough to serve. Her hair was inky black, short and pointed, and she was skinny to the extreme. She looked frustrated as she stopped in front of me. "Jack and coke, please," I said, placing my bill on the bar. She nodded and whipped around to make my drink. She was actually rather graceful with her movements; almost dancing around the bar backs as they fluttered around cleaning glasses and filling the ice. She spun back towards me and passed me my drink, thanking me briefly for the tip I left. I sipped slowly, enjoying the burn of the alcohol. I never had more than two, and I was a slow drinker. By the time I was nursing my second drink, the bar had emptied out; there were only a handful of patrons, and I was the only one seated at the bar. Having almost finished her work, the bartender made her way back around.

"You know, I'm pretty new here, and I don't know what protocol on this type of thing is, but you're lookin' pretty down, hon. Care to share? I think it's like a bartender code of ethics or something." I grinned at her attempt, but I couldn't see her angle.

"If you asked everybody in your bar that looked sad what the matter was, you'd never get any work done," I replied, taking a gulp of my drink. She giggled.

"I see your point. Perhaps I'll save my questions for the ones that look exceptionally sad and pathetic?" she smirked as she wiped the counter in front of me.

"And does that include me?"

"Oh, I'd say on a scale of one to ten, with ten being the saddest thing I've ever seen, you my dear are a twenty-five." She reached forward and-_what the hell?-_patted my head.

"Well I hate to disappoint you, but I'm actually quite fine, thank you. What's your name, by the way?" I asked.

"If you say so. But I'm telling you, I can _see _it in your eyes. And I'm Alice." She was serious now, and I was a bit uncomfortable with this bartender trying to get inside my head.

"Tell me then-what else do you _see_?" I asked cynically.

"It'll all work out for you. You're good people." She took my now empty glass from my hand, winked and then spun away. I tossed another tip on the counter and left without looking at her again. I was shaken, because she seemed so…genuine. But why? Perhaps she was eager to please her new boss, and was attempting to be overly friendly. I didn't see her talk with any of the other patrons like she did me, though. By the time I got to my apartment, I had talked myself into the idea that it was absolutely nothing. I checked my planner-4 appointments tomorrow-and got ready for bed.

I lay awake for hours, like always. Sleep was gracious when it came, and that was rare. I often let my mind wander to the days before I got into this line of work. The days when I was happy.

My parents and I lived in Southern Texas on a nice ranch. We were the quintessential middle-class family. My father worked in the oil fields-a hard job, but it paid the bills. My mother was a nurse. I went to school and helped on the ranch when I could. When I was 15, my parents decided to go on a trip. They hadn't left without me since I'd been born, and I told them that I'd be fine. I could take care of everything. No worries. And they left-they flew to Hawaii. My mom wanted to see the beach and the blueness of the ocean out there.

They never made it back. I hadn't felt anything real since then.

The charter plane they were on as they were leaving one island for another crashed. I moved in with my aunt and uncle after the accident, and they were hospitable enough, but…I wasn't their child. I moved out when I was eighteen, worked odd jobs until I turned 21, and I've been doing…_this_…since. I'm 24 now.

I closed my eyes tight, trying to push the thoughts out of my head for just a little while. _Just a few hours. Please. A few hours._

My prayers were never answered.

At 6 a.m., I got up, made coffee, and had a small breakfast. Oatmeal and fruit. I put on my jogging suit and went for a run.

The same as every day.

I sighed as I got into the shower; the warm water did nothing to soothe me. I was just functioning on the most basic levels. I wasn't living. This wasn't life. I decided to go over my appointment book and look at the names of the women that would be coming in. Sometimes they were real, sometimes made up. But it still let me connect to them, even if only a little bit.

Lucy Johnson. Age: 32

Margaret Johanassburg. Age: 36

Carol Stevens. Age: 35

Bella Swan. Age: 24


	2. Appointment Number Four

**Thanks for such an overwhelming response to the first chapter! I hope you continue to enjoy this story. This chapter's going to read similarly to the first one, but I wanted you to see the extent of Jasper's repetitive lifestyle. And we're introduced to appointment number four. *wink***

I stopped for coffee on my way in to work. My work day didn't start until around eleven, and even that early it was just prep. I didn't even want the coffee, but Angela loved it. She always perked up when she saw me holding that little Styrofoam cup. Today was no different. She snatched the cup from my hand the second I walked through the back door, grinning like an imp the whole time. I sat down across from her desk and she immediately followed suit. "So are there any stipulations today?" It was always the first question out of my mouth. Sometimes, when women came in, they had things that they wouldn't do, or had no interest in. And sometimes, I had special requests. I didn't mind them; it gave them a more enjoyable experience and that was the whole point. The only rule was that you had to list your stipulations in your appointment, because I won't honor them once the lights are off otherwise. Angela perused her notes for a minute and then raised her eyes to mine.

"Only one. Your last appointment of the day, a Miss….Swan, would like to refuse penetration." It wasn't an odd request, but one that I didn't receive very often. I wracked my brain, trying to remember what I saw in her file.

"How old is she?" I asked.

"It says here that she's twenty-four. A bit younger than normal, but not unheard of. She sounded pleasant on the phone." Angela pushed the papers aside and focused on her coffee again. My guess, based on past experience, was that she was inexperienced and wanted to feel out my services rather than jumping in head first. I was glad to have her on the agenda; sometimes it was more enjoyable without penetration. I felt like an artist, working them over with my hands until they were putty and exactly where I wanted them. If I did it right, I could have a repeat customer on my hands, and that was always a good thing.

I stood up and left Angela to her paperwork, walking into my 'office' of sorts to get things set up. The first thing I did was change the sheets. I tended to do it after every customer, but at the end of the night I usually leave it for the morning. I replaced the candle on the table with a fresh one, straightened the pillows, and then walked over to my cabinet. Sometimes, in cases like the one I would have this afternoon, I would use toys. Enough to awaken the senses, give new sensations, allowing me freedom to explore. I grabbed a couple of options and put them to the side; I would decide when I saw her. In that moment before the candle went out, I could tell so much about them. Their confidence, their feelings, I could feel it all. I put them separately on the ledge so that I could grab them easily in the dark. I had about 30 minutes before my first customer arrived, so I grabbed a book and waited.

The first three appointments went without a hitch, enjoyable for each of us. Housewives, from the looks of them, seeking a thrill. I had about an hour until appointment number four showed up, and it was just starting to get dark. I required at least an hour in between appointments, during which I made sure to shower and prepare myself. Depending on how they were spaced, sometimes I had quite a bit of time. I walked into the little kitchen area set up in the other room and grabbed an apple. When I finished, I heard my door creak open. "Your four o'clock is here. I'll send her inside in five minutes." Besides taking appointments, Angela always prepped the clients. She took their clothes for them, got the blindfolds ready, and explained a few of the basic rules. Her demeanor was perfect, and she was always professional with them. It was like they were at the dentist's office. She helped calm their nerves. I got into position and in five minutes appointment number four walked through the door. The first thing I noticed about her was that she was small; thin, but not too thin, and substantially shorter than my six foot two inches. Her long brown hair reached the center of her back and it had just the finest little wave to it. She was pale-almost alabaster. I could see the youth in her skin. She appeared to have a slight tremble to her, she was practically radiating nerves. She waited. I approached her slowly, wondering if she could hear my footfalls. When I was within reach, I spoke.

"I'm going to remove your bra first," I whispered seductively. When they were tied up, it was impossible to do. She gasped a little at my words and I could see her fingers clench up. Her bottom lip was pulled between her teeth and it looked painful. I let my hands start at her shoulders, moving downward until they were behind her back. I unsnapped it quickly and pulled it off of her. Her breasts were perky and just the right size; enough to fit into the palm of my hands. Her nipples peaked at the sudden temperature change; they were a nice dusky color by the candlelight. "I'm going to walk you to the bed. Lie flat on your back and place your hands above your head." I grabbed her shoulders and lead her to the bed. When her knees hit the edge, she crawled to the center, trembling all the while. I saw her bring her arms up twice in an attempt to cover herself, but she never followed through. _So nervous._ I grabbed the silk ties and tightened them around her wrists. Her breathing was already labored, but it was hard to tell if it was from excitement or nerves.

"I have three rules. If you are, at any point, uncomfortable with what I'm doing, your safe word is Ranger. You must keep the blindfold on at all times. And when you scream, scream my name-Jasper." There was a reason for this, though I scarcely admitted it to myself. I liked hearing my name. Only mine. It made me feel connected in a way I hadn't felt in years. But there was no need for any of them to know that. She nodded at my words, still chewing her bottom lip. I leaned over and blew out the candle. Number four let out a breath; she felt better in the dark. I thought I would start with getting her accustomed to the feel of my hands before bringing anything else in. I crawled to the edge of the bed to her feet, placing one hand on each of her ankles. I let my hands trail up her legs, slowly, turning them forward and letting my nails scrape her skin every so often. I stayed on the outside of her thighs and progressed upwards to her abdomen. I could hear her murmuring words, but I couldn't understand them. I traced the sides of her breasts-only the sides-and ended by cradling her neck. I repeated the process, only going down the center of her body instead of the outside. This time, I only faintly touched her nipples. She gave a little jerk, acknowledging the feeling. When I reached the apex of her thighs and started to pull her panties off, she pressed them together. "No." I chastised, pulling her thighs apart and yanking her underwear down her legs. I reached for her wetness, immediately rewarded with the soft slickness that showed she was enjoying me. My fingers worked her for a few moments before I decided it was time for me to add to the session. I felt my way off the bed and over to my cabinet, reaching for the toy I thought would prove most enjoyable.

When I made it back to the bed, I straddled her. I had chosen a feather; soft, gentle and enough to drive anyone mad. I would make her cum with this feather. I started at her wrist and inched my way down her arms, her neck and her collarbone enjoying the way she was squirming underneath me. I made swiping motions from left to right across her chest, moving lower with each swipe. I could tell when I hit her nipples; she gasped and bucked against me. I repeated the action again. And again. And again. She was panting and jerking, fevered with need. I finally let up my assault on her breasts as I moved myself and the feather lower down her body. When I reached her hipbone, I repeated the action from above, moving further down until I was near her center. At this point, I had to use my hands to feel out my next move, sliding my fingers into her wet folds to find the right place. Moving the feather back to her breasts, I continued to work my fingers into her until she was arching and mewing for release. I bent down, placed my mouth at her entrance and licked upward-once. My fingers were still inside her and I could feel her clenching unrelentingly around me. "Jasper…Oh…" she cried, almost silent. I stilled, allowing her to ride out her orgasm. When she was finished, I pulled back. I imagined that her pale skin was flushed and she was smiling. I reached for my candle and lighter, because I had to find out.

I was right. And for the first time…I wanted to see her eyes. See if they were still hooded with the high of it all. But that was wrong, and I wouldn't. Reaching forward, I untied her quickly. She wasted no time in sitting up. I made my way to where her bra had landed, and then went to hand it to her. Angela had instructed her of this before hand; she was to dress. I would guide her to the door. End of story. But when I reached out and grabbed her shoulders to help her up, her mouth opened.

"Wait." Her voice was honey and velvet. Soft. Innocent. But this wasn't part of the bargain. I didn't wait. I pulled on her a little, urging her forward. "Please. I have a question."

"I don't answer questions." I tried again to urge her forward, and this time she complied. When she reached the door, she paused again.

"I just wanted to know why you like the dark." And she was gone.

I thought about this question on my way to the bar. I thought about the girl who asked it. Why was she so different to me? Was it because she reached out? Wanted to know more than my hands and my body? I hadn't even realized I reached the bar until Alice was in front of me. "Rough day?" she chirped, placing a Jack and Coke in front of me. My expression must have given me away.

"Oh. You could say that." Would I call it rough? Nerve-wracking maybe, but rough?

"Want to tell me about it? We're not very busy tonight, I've got time." She smiled, and it was almost blinding the amount of energy she had.

"Not really. I'm fine, thank you." I smiled at her, urging her away.

"Whatever you say, champ, but I'm telling you-you're emotions are written all over your face. You look like you got a big shock or something. What do you do, exactly?" she asked, as if an afterthought.

"I'm a counselor. Private practice." I rattled off. It was my cover story. She narrowed her eyes, like she didn't believe me, but left me alone. She was sneaky and paid too much attention, I decided, but I didn't mind her. She took an interest in me that no one had in years.

Until tonight.

Until number four.

Until Bella.

I couldn't figure out why this bothered me so much; why I spent so much time on it. There were only slight odds that this woman would come back, especially after the way I treated her. And, for some reason, that bothered me. I wanted her to come back. I shook my head, trying to push these thoughts away, and finished my drink.

**What'd you think? Remember to leave me love and tell me! Anybody want some BPOV later on? I'm considering it, and may be swayed...**


	3. A Walk in the Park

**Hey guys! So glad you're enjoying this with me. We'll be switching it up a bit in this chapter, first with Jasper and then with Bella. Most of you wanted to see some BPOV (sorry to those who didn't, but I'm hoping my version of Bella makes up for it). Keep on showin' me da love!**

**Thanks a bunch to ChelsieWhitlock, who is my fantabulous beta for this story. *kisses***

* * *

I walked into the Museum and immediately reveled in the scent of the place. It smelled of art and history and knowledge. I came here on my days off at first just so I could have some place to go, but more recently because I enjoyed it. I wandered the halls for a while before moving on to the room that held the paintings-my favorite. Each room was staffed with an attendant, just in case someone had questions, so I glanced in that direction first. The man who usually manned the table was gone, replaced by a small brunette. Another woman was standing over her, showing her some papers-must be her supervisor. I looked back down to the woman, who was blushing and nodding, looking incredibly overwhelmed. She had long, brown hair and a small frame.

She struck me as oddly familiar.

I didn't get a chance to look at her face-she got up from the desk and strode from the room. Whatever her supervisor was telling her must not have been good. I turned my attention back to the art.

It wasn't an odd occurrence for me to spend several hours in the museum, as was the case today. It was either this or spending the day alone in my apartment. I considered going to the bar but I figured Alice would be there and I didn't want to deal with her questioning today. Instead, I opted to just walk the city. Being in motion seemed to help a little, kept me occupied. It was starting to get dark, but there were still plenty of people out. I strolled through the park, listening to dogs bark and enjoying the faint sounds of the city behind me.

Until I heard a scream.

Out of sheer instinct I ran towards the sound. It was distinctly female, and she was absolutely fucking terrified. I pushed myself faster; I could practically feel her terror. As I got closer, I could hear voices.

"_You're a pretty fucking thing, you know that?"_ A deep male voice reverberated. He sounded disgusting.

"_When he's done, I'm getting my turn. And I can't fucking wait,"_ another voice chimed in. It dripped with venom and coated my ears in a very unpleasant way.

"_Please please no! No! I'm not….please….stop!!"_ the woman yelled. _Oh, God what are they doing?_ I was moving inhumanly fast, but I was afraid it wasn't fast enough. When I finally rounded the corner, I saw them. One man had the woman by the arms, holding her down while the other was ripping her clothes off. She was fighting, by God, but it wasn't good enough. Her kicks barely seemed to faze the man as he yanked at her shirt and tore it to shreds. She had tears running down her face and she was panicked. She flailed as best as she could, trying to kick and bite, but they were too strong for her.

Something in me snapped.

I was on the first man before he could blink, grabbing him by the throat and dragging him away while his friend looked on in stunned silence. I was squeezing off his air flow-his mouth gaped at me like a fish and his eyes were bugging out. "Listen to me. You have approximately two seconds from the time I drop you to get the _fuck_ out of here. You will never do this to another woman again, or I _will_ find you-don't think I won't! And I will kill you." His eyes were rolling back into his head as he began to lose consciousness. I dropped him and turned on his friend. "Let her go, or I will take your hands off of her myself." He did as he was told and ran to join his buddy. I looked at both of them. "One." The first guy scrambled to his feet and took off, followed closely by the second. I turned my attention to the girl, who was staring at me and crying. I dropped to my knees beside her.

"Honey, are you okay? Are you hurt? Do you want me to take you to the hospital?" I asked. I wanted to touch her, check her over for wounds, but that wouldn't be right in this situation. I saw her look down at her bare chest and blush. Immediately I ripped off my jacket and handed it to her, which she accepted gratefully. Her pants were still intact, so that was a good sign. I don't think they succeeded in what they were attempting to do. She was still crying, but it looked like she was gaining some semblance of self again. Her breath was coming in gasps, but the terror had left her eyes.

"I'm…I think I'm okay. I don't want to go to the hospital. I'm okay," she said, more to herself than to me. "How did you find me?" she was checking herself over now, looking for cuts and scrapes; which, thankfully was all she came away with. Besides being blonde, she was absolutely gorgeous-in a very stereotypical way. Tall, thin, a perfect chest, she had the whole package.

"I heard your screams. I couldn't just walk past." I shook my head. She was trying to stand up; I stuck out a hand for her and helped her to her feet.

"I'm glad. They were going to…" I watched a visible shudder pass over her body. "I'm Rosalie, by the way." She gave me a tentative smile. It didn't reach her eyes, and I feared it would be a while before she smiled truthfully again.

"Jasper. Where do you live? I'll walk you home." She looked grateful.

"Just a few blocks from here. Thank you again. I don't know what I would have done…" she sounded as if she was disappointed in herself for allowing something like that to happen.

"What happened back there wasn't your fault, you know that right?"

"I know. But I'm usually so much more alert than that. I don't know what happened. I should have been paying more attention." She sighed. We walked the rest of the way in silence, and before too long we were outside what I assumed to be her apartment building. "Well…thanks. I owe you more than you know." She reached in her purse and pulled out a card. "Call me sometime-I'd like to take you to dinner or something to make up for it. Or whatever." She turned and went inside. I looked down at the card she gave me.

_Rosalie Hale, Child Behaviorist_

Not quite the job I had pictured for the stunning woman, but to each his own. I turned and went the opposite way, trying to decide what to do next. I sighed, resigned to the fact that I would have to go home eventually, and headed that way.

You would think, after the evening that I just had, that it would lead to some kind of change in pace for me. But it didn't. Everything was the same.

I felt the same.

Nothing.

When I got home I went straight to bed. Maybe if I got a head start on trying to sleep, it would actually work tonight. My sheets felt good; homey. I closed my eyes and tried to shut out the events of the day. The image of Rosalie screaming would be something that haunted me for a long while. I can't express the joy I felt at having caught them in time. I hoped she was doing well. She put up a strong front, but I knew it wasn't easy for her. I could tell. She was so afraid…

"_Jasper, darling, are you in there?" my aunt called through the crack of my door. I didn't answer. Why bother? "Jasper, you've got to eat something. Your uncle and I are worried about you." Silence. I heard her shuffling around outside my door, and I waited. She would go away in a minute. "We're here if you need to talk." She walked away from the door. _

_I turned back to the task at hand. I yanked my shirt over my head and tossed it on the bed. I pulled the corner of my mattress up and extracted the little metal piece that let me feel again. Putting it to my chest, I cut. Cut. Cut._

_The blood reminded me that I was alive._

I woke up sweating and sticking to my sheets, gasping for breath like a fish out of water. The first time I'd slept, actually _slept_, in how long, and this is what I get? I don't often let myself think about those times immediately after my parents died. I was depressed and unable to think straight. But every now and then these dreams would come, and I would remember exactly why I liked it in the dark so much. I jumped up out of bed and walked into the kitchen for a drink of water, dragging my feet as I went. I was anxious now, jittery and itchy from my dream. I wouldn't be going back to sleep tonight. I debated on whether or not to go watch TV, or just hang out and read. I opted first to turn on the lights and check my appointment book for the following week. We would undoubtedly receive more bookings through the week, but it was nice to know what I was starting with.

Three on Monday.

Two on Tuesday.

Four on Wednesday.

Three on Thursday.

Four on Friday.

I didn't bother to pay close attention to the names, more or less skimming, when I found what I didn't know I was looking for. _Friday, 2p.m. Bella Swan. Stipulation: No Intercourse. _

She was coming back.

Bella's POV

"Miss Swan, if you could just be here at 8a.m. tomorrow that would be great," The museum curator called on my way out the door. I turned around to acknowledge her, quickly nodding. "And Miss Swan? Please be prepared as well." _Oh, please, hellish day, will you please end? I promise I'll be a good girl from here on out._ I wanted this job. I just had to keep telling myself that. When they called me after months of waiting, I was ecstatic. Who was supposed to know the Queen of the Bitches was going to be my boss? Not I. I could tough it out, I was a strong girl.

The walk home cleared my head a bit, and I was feeling better when I got back to my apartment. I just had to get through the next four days, and I would have Thursday and Friday off. _Friday._ Oh, I was already excited.

I still can't figure out what possessed me to sign up with this guy. Perhaps it was just the fact that I hadn't had a good orgasm in…damn. I couldn't even count that far back. So when I overheard some people talking about it, I admit I was curious. There was no way I was going to go and ask them about it because, well…ew, so I went home and did the next most natural thing. I Googled it.

There wasn't anything solid out there, because this guy was so secretive. Nobody knew what he looked like, which lead me to my first _What the Hell_? Why would anybody in their right mind pay to have sex with someone without knowing what they looked like? But the reviews were pretty spectacular and filled with nothing but praise. Apparently while he…worked his magic…on you, you got a good feel of his body. And apparently it was nice. The whole idea appealed to me because I didn't want to get into some relationship, or take some guy home from the bar or anything like that. I just wanted a good old fashioned _orgasm._ And one I didn't give myself. So I took a trip down to this building, and knocked like I was a member of some secret society. The girl who answered the door was sweet as hell, and promptly told me that I didn't need to knock. I told her I wanted to know what a session entailed. She pulled me to her desk and perched on the end and started telling me things that this guy could do to me. I asked her politely if I _had_ to have sex with him the first time, or if I could just test out the product before buying the whole cow. She told me of course, that I would need to request no penetration when I set up an appointment, and not to worry because I'd get my jollies anyway. So I said what the hell and set up an appointment.

I'm not going to tell you what it cost me, but I will tell you it was worth every damn dime and then some. This guy was a God among men with those hands of his, and those lips…should be framed and put in the Smithsonian. He didn't say much, though, and I found myself wondering why he wanted to stay hidden, and what made him get into this business, because he'd make some woman a damn happy wife.

I thought I'd take a stab at conversation once all the fun was over, but he wasn't having that. I was dying of curiosity, dying to know what made him hide, but he wasn't up for a Q and A.

Which was why I was going back.

Well, mostly why. Reason number one was because it was damn good. _Damn. Good._ But that was a close second. And after feeling his nether regions pressed into my abdomen while he did his thing, I decided we'd do the whole 'no penetration' thing again-I needed more prep work.

Friday couldn't come soon enough, and neither could I.

* * *

**A couple things: check out lace kittens, my combined penname with lacym3. Our story is bound to appeal to all genres. KWIM? *wink* **

**The Darlins are hosting a Lovers Scorned contest-want details? PM me.**

**Reviews get you an appointment with Jasper. Remember, he only has three rules.**


	4. Friday

**Disclaimer: As much as I wish to the heavens that Jasper belonged to me, he is, unfortunately, property of Stephenie Meyer. She's a lucky woman.**

**I appriciate all your reviews, you don't know how much I love them. And I also added a bit of Bella POV here as well, because I like her personality and it's enjoyable to see her side of things.**

I felt like I was in a funk the whole week.

I was anxious, and I didn't know why. I felt like I was waiting for something. I had nothing to look forward to. _Except for my appointment with the woman called Bella on Friday._ But why would I be excited about that? _Because she took an interest in you._ Stupid conscience, always annoying me with facts.

I went through my routine, every day the same, but the anxiety wouldn't go away. I went to the bar in the evenings until Alice pushed me over the edge on Thursday. _"What are you waiting for? Tell me why you're so anxious. It's about a girl, isn't it?"_ She kept prodding, and I couldn't take it. I got up and left without saying another word. She acted as though she had some strange relationship with me, and that I should confide in her. She didn't listen when I said it was nothing, and that I didn't have anything to wait for.

And now Friday morning was looking at me in the face and I couldn't find it in me to even eat breakfast. I needed to knock this shit off, or I was going to go off the deep end. I took a hot shower, trying to shake myself out of this, whatever it may be, before heading to work.

My appointments crawled all day. All the same. Was it possible for someone to get tired of having sex? It's a good thing I don't have any guy friends; I'd never live that thought down. I was living the dream, and here I was complaining about it. When Angela stuck in her head, I actually jumped-I was too involved in my thoughts.

"Your 2p.m. appointment is here. I'll get her set up and send her in." My heart, the traitorous thing, actually jumped a bit in my chest at the mention of my two o'clock. I shook myself. _Just a girl. Just another girl._ I tried, over and over again, with this mantra. But my brain wouldn't let me believe it. I couldn't let my body act like this; I had to be professional. I sucked in a deep breath while I walked over to my cabinet, thinking about what I would use today. The last time she was here, I used a feather. She seemed to like that quite a bit. And while I'd love to bring out something a bit rougher, I decided to stick with my hands and my mouth tonight. Just me.

She walked into the room slowly, the candle light bouncing off of her pink bra and matching underwear. I raised an eyebrow-pink, eh? She didn't say anything, as instructed, but her mouth was puckered a bit, like she had something on her mind. Her brown hair was bunched around the blindfold, messy and long. Even though she'd been here before, I would have to go through the motions anyway.

"I'm going to remove your bra first," I told her. By God, it was a front clasp-my favorite. Something about the way the breasts popped, like they were being freed. And hers…they bounced just perfectly. "I'm going to walk you to the bed. Lie flat on your back and place your hands above your head. It didn't escape my notice that her nipples hardened at my words. I was paying _entirely _too much attention to this woman. She did as she was told, moving more confidently this time than she did on her previous visit. Her breath was coming quicker than normal. That was my favorite part about repeat customers; they knew what was coming, and they couldn't _wait_ for it. "I have three rules. If you are, at any point, uncomfortable with what I'm doing, your safe word is Ranger. You must keep the blindfold on at all times. And when you scream, scream my name-Jasper." She knew all of this. I watched as a shiver ran through her body. I was already hard, and I hadn't even touched her yet; this was an accomplishment for me. I almost always needed physical contact to become aroused these days. _Why this woman?_ I reached over to the candle to blow it out when I was struck with an inspiration. Originally, I wasn't going to use tools on her; but I wondered if she would be opposed to hot wax? A bit of pain, a lot of pleasure…and I could keep the candle lit. I would break my own rule-but she was still blindfolded-the candle didn't provide _that_ much light… "I want to use hot wax on you. Are you opposed to that? Answer yes or no." I would give her the choice on this-it wasn't something I'd ever used on anyone else. I had no basis of how women enjoyed it.

"No." she breathed, chest heaving.

I started off slow, placing open-mouthed kisses across her collarbone and down between the valley of her breasts. I wanted to bring her close before I started with the hot wax; if I was right, it would bring a much stronger orgasm. I continued to kiss her body; everywhere I could reach with my lips. My fingers were at her wetness, stroking upwards and downwards, circling her clit. Sometimes the basics were all you needed. My mouth captured one of her nipples; I pulled it between my teeth and sucked. The feel of her skin on my tongue was like velvet as I felt it pebble on my tongue. She was humming from the feel of it, arching her back as best as she could. I let my fingers probe inside of her, stroking her walls at every angle I could reach. My thumb continued to make work of her clit as my mouth moved to her other nipple. I wouldn't let her go much longer, but I was enjoying myself. I could feel her growing tighter around my fingers, and that's when I pulled out. Her body fell back onto the bed and I could feel the disappointment coming off of her, but she didn't say a word. "You didn't think I'd let you cum that easily, did you?" I couldn't help but ask. She kept her mouth closed, but it was turned down in a frown.

My cock twitched as I grabbed the candle, already anticipating and looking forward to her reaction. I held still for just a moment; long enough for her to start to fidget. I lifted the candle above her body and let a small drop fall onto her breastbone. It trickled for a moment before slowing and beginning to harden. This elicited the most delicious hiss as it crackled against her skin, had her biting down on her bottom lip at the same time. I bent my head down and blew on the wax enough to cool it completely. She was panting now-a good sign. I brought more wax down, this time onto her stomach, adding a little more this time. I watched it slightly redden her skin, watched her back arch, and watched her flesh raise around it…

I was breathing harder now, teetering on a dangerous ledge. The ledge of control. I couldn't afford to fall. I couldn't stop my hand as it went to touch the wax; it was still malleable enough to smear around a bit. It flaked, but it was still slightly warm. I was clenching my teeth, unsure of what I wanted to say. Something I shouldn't say, that much was certain. Not much wax left, now; I used the rest on her breast. Close enough to her nipple to where it dripped down and sloped around it. "Oh, Jesus _Fuck_ Jasper!" she cried, and I almost came right then and there. She was riding a strong high; now would be as good a time as any. I crawled between her legs, just to let myself enjoy the feeling, before moving my hand back to her pussy and didn't hesitate to push my fingers inside. I sucked on the nipple that didn't have any wax on it and thrust into her at a hard pace. She was biting her lip again, and I couldn't stop myself from bringing my lips to meet hers and kissing her fiercely. Her orgasm hit her then, and she pushed herself closer to me as she rode it out, kissing me back all the while. I tasted her lips, her tongue, even her teeth; trying to devour all of her that I could get. I pulled out of her and sat up, still placed between her legs. Her breathing was heavy and she was smiling. I imagined her eyes were closed, still wrapped up in pleasure. When she had slowed her breathing, I untied her hands. I followed my normal routine again, going and grabbing her bra and helping her put it back on. I wished I could see more of her face.

"Why do you do this?" she asked, catching me off guard. I should have been expecting it, considering her behavior last time, but I wasn't paying attention. Unthinkingly, I answered her.

"Because I'm good at it." I didn't have all day to explain the rest. And I wouldn't answer any more questions-one was too many.

"Why do you like the dark?" she echoed her first question to me again. _Not this time_. I grabbed her by the arms and guided her towards the door. "Why won't you answer me?" she was angry. My earlier admission must have given her false hope. But she couldn't know about me. Nobody could. I opened the door and pushed her through without hesitation. I shut the door behind her.

_Bella_

Dammit! Someone was going to have to knock him off his sexy-ass high horse, and apparently it wasn't going to be me. At least, not today. I could barely walk straight after he pushed me through the door, and I hadn't even had sex with him! That hot wax…he was on to something with that. That was…incredible. I thought it would hurt, and it did, but in the most fuckawesome way possible. And when he blew on it, and cooled it off? Heaven. And his _fingers…_ He should win some kind of magic-fucking-finger award, because damn-boy got skills.

Angela met me on the other side with my clothes-I could see them on the chair next to me once she pulled my blindfold off. She frowned when she looked at my stomach. "Is that wax?" she asked, puzzled.

"What? Oh…yeah…he used a candle…" I mumbled, still in post-orgasmic stupid mode. She frowned again but turned around and hustled to the closet a few feet away. The towel she handed me was black and pretty, and for some reason I felt really bad for getting white wax all over it.

"He left the candle lit?" she asked again, strangely concerned.

"I have no idea. I couldn't see. But I imagine he did, since he was dripping it all over me." _Shiver._ She clicked her tongue a bit as she handed me my shirt. I was struck with sudden inspiration. "Why-does he not do that? What does that mean?" Her eyes were sharp when they answered my question.

"I was just curious. He does whatever he wants to do, _He_ doesn't follow any rules. So Bella, would you like to schedule another appointment?"She changed the subject quickly, and my plan was thwarted. The wheels were turning, though, and I was curious now. Curious enough to come back.

"Yeah, I think I would. Next Friday, if you please. Same time." She ran to the appointment book while I followed her out to the lobby.

"Excellent. And are there any stipulations you'd like noted?" I thought about it. I wanted, very much, to have sex with him. And it wasn't like I'd never had sex before. But I was afraid, if I did, something would change and I wouldn't get to know more about him.

"No penetration." She nodded her head and wrote it down, handing me an appointment card like they do at the doctor's office. It was plain, with only the time and date on it. He should make calling cards. He could title himself the doctor of orgasms, for all I cared. I walked out to my car and drove home, curiosity peaked.

What the hell kind of answer is "_Because I'm good at it."_? Hell yeah, you're good at it, any fool could tell that after an hour in there. But that's not what I was asking. Not the why I wanted to know. I thought I'd broken through a bit, so I rushed to ask a second question, but was greeted with nothing. I'll figure it out, if it's the last thing I do.

Not like the research was particularly difficult, either.

**Careful, Jasper-you just might start to care.**

**Jasper's got an opening at 3 o'clock on Tuesday. Review and I'll put you in the appointment book. Hot wax for everyone!**


	5. You Look Familiar in a Naked Kind of Way

**Hello lovlies! Remember that SM owns all these characters? Cause I sure don't.**

**Thanks ChelsieWhitlock, for rocking my beta world as usual. you know she writes too, you should most definitely head on over her direction. **

"Alice, could you please make my drink a double?" I called to her over the crowded bar. I tossed the money onto the dark wooden counter and waited for her acknowledgement before I sat down. When she made her way towards me, I could practically see the questions rolling in her head. I was thankful for the crowd; she wouldn't get the chance to ask until after it calmed down in here. I almost couldn't finish my client list after Bella left; she rattled me to the core. I wasn't sure what bothered me the most; the fact that I _wanted_ to watch her or that she was interested in me. _Me._ Not just…parts of me. And a part of me wanted her to know. That, I decided, was the problem. I couldn't want any of this. What woman would want _me?_ I have too much baggage, and look at my career!

"Hey Tex, what's bugging you? And don't tell me nothing because I'm not stupid and you look like someone shot your dog and stole your cattle all at once." I hadn't realized I'd gone through two more drinks and that the bar was almost empty. How long had I been musing to myself? A look at my watch told me-too long.

"It's about a girl." She smiled at my admission, seemingly glad I was opening up to her.

"It's always a girl. So what about her? Where'd you meet?" _Well, today I poured hot wax all over her and fucked her with my fingers._

"At work." She raised an eyebrow at me. What was it about this woman?! It was like she _knew_ I was lying. Not perhaps in the most literal sense, but that wasn't the point. "Listen-I'm going to be straight with you. I don't know what it is you do, but it's not counseling. Don't worry," she held up her hand, "I'm not going to ask. If it was something you cared to share you would have told the truth in the first place. Whatever it is, it gets you through the day. So tell me-what about this girl in particular?" She plopped another drink in front of me and started wiping the counter like a good bartender. It didn't escape my notice that this barely had any alcohol in it at all.

"I'm a…private man. She's curious about me. That's all." I took a gulp.

"That's it? She's curious about you. What's wrong with that?" Her lips pursed like she genuinely couldn't understand.

"I don't need anybody." Another gulp.

"Why are you so sure about that?" She turned around to quickly wait on another customer before practically pirouetting back to her position in front of me.

"She doesn't even know me. She wouldn't like me if she did." I tilted the glass back and finished the drink before going the extra mile and pulling an ice cube into my mouth and sucking what liquor there was from it.

"What if she did?" She swept the glass away from me but didn't add another. _Enough of this._

"It doesn't matter. Thank you." I stood up roughly and pushed the bar stool out of my way before turning and marching out the door. I could have sworn I heard Alice sigh. I just needed to get home. Maybe this time I could sleep. Maybe I could forget this all, and be done with it. Tomorrow I would go to the museum, and relax, and just…

My bed had never looked more inviting. _Please, just this once, let me sleep…_I crawled in wearing nothing but my boxers and prayed.

"_Mmm, Jasper, you always know just how I like it," she mewled as I licked my way from her head to her toes. _

"_You act like you're surprised," I chuckled against her thigh, nipping lightly before returning to her lips. She turned me away, giggling into the pillow and hiding her face. "Don't hide, beautiful, I want to see your face," I told her as I tried to pull the pillow away from her. Why was she hiding from me? _

"_Not surprised. Well, not in the formal sense. You surprise me every day; you'd think I'd be used to it." I could hear the smile in her voice from behind the pillow. I started to nip at her shoulder, trying to get her attention._

"_Mm hmm, let me surprise you again right now," my mouth was peppering kissing up and down her arm as I tried to work my hands under the covers again_.

"_You stop it right now, Jasper. I've got to get up and go to work." She was giggling, but I knew she was serious. And it was getting late, she was probably right. I rolled over and allowed her to move. She hopped from the bed quickly and ran to the bathroom, her beautiful ass shaking as she went. I laid in bed and waited for her to emerge, thinking that I couldn't possibly be any luckier than I was at this moment. It seemed like eternity until the door finally clicked open and she emerged. She looked at me and smiled. "I'm going to get dressed now. I love you, Jasper."_

"_And I you, Bella." _

I woke up with a start. _What the hell was that all about?_ And the worst part was that I wasn't even concerned over the fact that I just told a client that I loved them. I was exalted at the fact that I had seen her face. _How true was this dream-face to her real face_? That was yet to be seen. I imagined that her eyes were brown, like her hair, because I just couldn't see any other color. And wide, they'd be wide. I stopped myself there. _I must still be half asleep._ _What the hell time is it anyway?_ A glance at my clock told me it was early morning, but not early enough to go back to bed. I made a snap decision to go for a run. It was a break from my normal routine, but I was so hopped up that I needed an outlet, and it was either that or masturbate in the shower.

Running seemed more productive.

I threw on a pair of running shorts and a sleeveless shirt and headed towards the nearest park. I just intended to make a few laps around the area and then head home, because I still wanted to hit the museum. I needed to clear my head first, and the running seemed to help. Once I was breathless and thoughtless, I took off back towards my place.

After a quick shower, I sat around until the museum opened, and then headed that way. I was still buzzing with energy that the run didn't beat out of me, and it was odd. Where did it come from? Why? I puzzled all of this until I walked through the doors of the museum, and then decided that I would enjoy my day and worry about bounding energy later. This time, when I walked into my favorite room, I was greeted.

"Hello, sir, how are you today? Is this your first time here?" It wasn't the words that brought me up short, it was the woman.

Her brown hair was pulled up into a ponytail, but it was long, reaching past her shoulders. Her pale skin was perfect, and she had the widest brown eyes I'd ever seen. When she smiled at me, and spoke again, I very nearly came undone.

"Sir? Is there anything I can do for you?" she asked politely.

_Oh my God it was her._ I knew she wouldn't recognize me-how could she? But there was no mistaking it. She didn't know it but I had already seen every inch of her that saw the sun, and every inch that never would. And the weirdest part? She was _exactly_ like my dream-Bella was. Her eyes were brown and huge and gorgeous and she was blushing because I was staring.

I was staring.

_But what the hell can I do? I can't tell her who I am. I just can't._ It would send her running and ruin everything; she would never come back. But I was so…lost right then, lost in her that I didn't want to let her walk away from me. What if I proceeded? Talked to her? Maybe even asked her out? She would never know it was me. She'd never seen me, and if anything it would only be my voice that was vaguely familiar. Even then-I hadn't said much to her. My mind was reeling with the possibilities and fighting with logic all at once. _Why do I want to talk to her?_

_Because she wants to talk to me._

She just didn't know it yet.

"Could you tell me more about this piece?" I asked and pointed to the wall. Truth be told I could probably tell her more than she could tell me, but I had to say something. She gulped in air, glad that my blank-faced stare was gone and steered me towards the painting in question. She talked with a great deal of enthusiasm, waving her hands around and showing her joy through every pore. In all honesty I didn't even listen to a word she said; I only watched her speak. I asked her to show me a few others, just so I could do the same thing. I attempted to make conversation, but was generally overpowered by her abundant speech. Before I knew what was happening, it was time for the museum to close. "Would you like to have dinner with me?" I blurted, my brain losing its filter. She looked dumbstruck for a moment before flushing a bright crimson. I was right; it went all the way up.

"Uh…" she mumbled, glancing around the room as if trying to find the words on the walls. "Yeah, sure." She finished, and I couldn't help but smile.

"How about we just walk down to the nearest restaurant, and eat there?" I asked, trying to keep her in her comfort zone. I could tell she was fawning on the line of too much, and I didn't want that.

"Okay, sure. Let me just go grab my purse." She turned and bounded off towards what I assumed was the break room.

_Bella_

_I am beyond stupid._ _What the hell am I thinking_? _Yeah, strange man, I'd love to have dinner with you. Just promise not to hack me into pieces afterwards, please and thanks._ And I didn't even say the last part! I was on a suicide mission for sure.

But damned if he wasn't the most gorgeous thing I'd ever seen, and he had the prettiest eyes…and he seemed lost. Like a puppy. I couldn't just turn him down. I'm such a sucker.

I grabbed my purse quickly, did a brief check of makeup in the mirror and then turned towards the door. He was waiting, leaning against the exit door with his arms crossed. Give him a cowboy hat and a horse and you'd have a Stetson commercial. I must have been smiling, because he was grinning at me.

"So you just want to, like, walk down a block or two and go into the first place we see? What if it's dirty? Or some kind of strange foreign food you've never had?" he chuckled as we made our way out the door and down the street.

"Then we'll have room for dessert," he said between laughs. It sounded…strained. It kind of reminded me of the Tin Man; like he needed an oil can or something. Stiff.

"At least you have a positive outlook here," I murmured. It wasn't long before we came across a restaurant on the left. I looked at the sign:

_The Drunken Fish-Fine Sushi at Great Prices_

"Well there you have it. Sushi it is," he said, pushing the door open.

And sadly, the only thing running through my head right then was: _I hate fish._


	6. Do it Now

**Fair warning, this is unbeta'd. My wonderful beta, chelsiewhitlock, is out of town. **

**Disclaimer: Sadly the characters belong to SM. If I had written twilight, well, it wouldn't have ended like it did.**

I got the distinct impression that Bella wasn't a huge fan of sushi, but she pushed forward and didn't say a word. I was glad she was sticking with the original plan-spontaneity wasn't my strong point. We took a seat and ordered; I noticed that she wasn't planning on eating much. She sat across from me and smiled.

"So, stranger, what's your name?" she asked, tilting her head to the side. _Well, shit._ I couldn't tell her my real name, she'd know. Of _course_ she'd know.

"Peter," I blurted, automatically thinking of my childhood friend that used to live down the street from me. I hadn't seen him in years, but he had always been a good friend to me. He wouldn't mind me borrowing his identity for a while. "Peter Simpson. I'm so sorry; I apologize for not introducing myself earlier." I reached out to shake her hand. She shook it back and smirked at my manners.

"So tell me, Peter Simpson, what is it that you do?" The waiter was coming over to the table with our drinks. _Oh, you _know_ what I do_, I thought, knowing that was the wrong answer.

"I'm a counselor," I replied, which was my standard answer. I needed to steer the subject away from me before she got too curious-I knew all too well that this girl was very observant. "Tell me about you-what are you doing at the museum?" I took a sip of my coke and looked at her expectantly.

"Not much, to be honest. I've always loved the museum, and I needed a job while I work on my grad work. I'm just kind of the girl who answers the phones and tries to direct people in the right direction. No big." She took a swig of her soda and started to play with the straw. "I think I saw you in the museum last week, come to think of it-you trying to stalk me?" she asked, chuckling nervously.

"What? No! I like to go there when I'm off work-it gives me time to think." I rushed through the words. "I usually go every week, unless something comes up. It's my favorite place." The waiter sat food in front of us and walked away; Bella didn't look pleased. She picked up a roll and kind of poked at it with her chopsticks before popping it in her mouth quickly and grimacing. I found mine quite enjoyable, and I wished she did as well. "You know you don't have to eat that, right?" I asked her, smiling around my chopsticks.

"I know. But I'm committed to this now-I'm a team player," she smirked, shucking another piece in and swallowing quickly. I smiled back. I was scaring myself, because there was no reason I should be with this woman right now. I've never felt the pull to speak to someone before on this level; never wanted to know someone. So why now? Why her? Was it because she wanted to know me? She didn't know she wanted to know me. And what if, by seeing her, I drive her away from seeing the _real_ me again, in an appointment? I didn't want that; I wanted her to come back.

That scared me more.

I realized, too late, that I had dug myself a hole that I wasn't sure how to get out of. What if she realized it was me? I couldn't stand it. And I couldn't figure out why! Bella was looking at me, confused. My emotions must have been playing on my face. I shoved another piece of sushi in my mouth to give myself time to think of something to say. Do I make like an asshole, turn her off of me? But then, I want to see her again. I'm in no position to be in a relationship, however-I'm a complete train wreck. I can't even look at myself in a lit room, for Christ's sake! Bella was looking at me, frowning, as she continued to poke at her seafood.

"Bella, listen-I have to work in the morning. This has been a blast, and I'm so glad you decided to join me, not knowing who I was. I hope we can do this again sometime?" I asked, motioning the waiter over to pay the bill.

"Oh! Um, of course. Thanks for bringing me out tonight, it was a great break in my normal routine. Here," she said, digging in her purse, "is my number. Please, call me sometime." I stuck her number in my wallet and pushed my chair back. She rose to follow, apparently glad to be away from the food. She was looking at me awkwardly, and I realized with a start she was wondering if I would kiss her or not. I leaned down and pecked her cheek, smiling as I winked at her-that was good, right? She blushed a lovely shade of pink and turned towards the door. "See you later, Peter," she called over her shoulder.

Oh, God, what did I do? I practically ran back home, slamming the door on the way in and slumping against it when it shut. Jesus Fuck, I must be crazy. I sat down at my computer, flicked it on, and brought up my email. I had to look at my appointment listing, now. I had to see. Sure enough, she was there, on Friday. It must be like the cap off to the weekend for her or something. I wasn't totally surprised to feel the surge of excitement that welled in me at the prospect of having her beneath me again. Despite the fact that she still wanted no penetration. I thought about how enjoyable the hot wax was, and thought about bringing something else in the mix this time. Only with her. As for calling her again?

I'm undecided.

_Bella_

If that wasn't just the weirdest fucking thing I'd ever seen. It was like something in that roll of disgusting raw ocean trash lit a fire in him, because all of the sudden he jumped up and split. Either that, or he could spot me for the crazy-ass that I am and decided to bail before he got in too deep. Either way. And I can't believe I gave him my phone number! I must be a lunatic. "_Here, strange man, please call me so you can run out on me again!"_ Yeah.

He was super cute, that's for damn sure. And something about him sounded off the 'familiar' alarm in my brain, but I couldn't for the life of me remember what was familiar. I shrugged to myself. Not like I was gonna see the guy again anyway, at least besides him ducking to avoid me when he made his weekly trip to the museum.

What the hell was that all about anyway? Didn't he have better things to do on his weekend? He was good-looking enough to have a date for every night of the week, and yet he hung out in a museum? He _did_ seem kind of stand-offish. I tried to shake the whole thing off when I got home; I had bigger fish to fry this week. Was it ridiculous that I was already excited about this appointment on Friday? It took all of point five seconds to realize no, it wasn't, because damn if that boy couldn't get me off _good._ The thoughts from my last appointment put me into a deep sleep.

The rest of the week passed slowly; whether it was my job or the anticipation for Friday, but it felt like the week would never end. Two million years later, it was finally Friday. I clocked out early; I only worked the morning on Fridays. I practically ran home to change into matching bra and underwear; I knew he didn't see it, and even if he did what did he care-but still. Red lace was the way to go today; it matched my pale skin nicely. I practically ran to the office building he worked out of, and had to control my eagerness to fling the door open when I got there.

The polite receptionist saw right through me, grinning as she led me to the back room. I knew the drill by now; strip down, put the blindfold on, wait to be admitted. Easy. When she slipped the blindfold over my eyes, I was practically dancing on my toes. "Have you ever, you know, made yourself an appointment?" I asked the woman, smirking. Her high-pitched chuckle carried throughout the room.

"No. I prefer not to mix business with pleasure, although I hear it's quite enjoyable. Never sleep with the boss, though, that's my rule." I could hear her shuffle towards the door and stick her head in. "Your next appointment is here," she called, and I heard his mumbled response. The room must be soundproof; probably a good idea. She led me towards the door opening and helped me walk through. I waited for him to tell me to walk towards the bed but the words never came. I could feel him brush my left arm, and then my right-he was circling me. I felt like a gazelle being stalked by a cheetah or something.

"I'm not going to tie you up today. Instead, we're going to play a little game." His low, sultry voice crooned into my ear. _Oh, for the love of white bread._ "I'm going to lead you to the bed, and you're going to crawl to where your back is propped up against the pillows against the headboard." I felt him take my hand and lead me forward. "Do it now." I complied, feeling my way towards the head of the bed and getting into the proper position. "I have three rules. If you are, at any point, uncomfortable with what I'm doing, your safe word is Ranger. You must keep the blindfold on at all times. And when you scream, scream my name-Jasper." Oh, I was well acquainted with those rules, Mr. Sexy McFuckMePlease. I had a feeling there were no losers in this game. "Take off your clothes for me. Now." _Rawr._ Hell yes. I shucked the panties first and then pulled the bra off slowly. I was a wee bit self-conscious about my body-not that I think I'm ugly or anything, but I'm not Miss America.

"I want you to touch yourself." _The hell?_ Isn't that kind of his job? He must have noticed my reluctance; I felt the weight of the bed shift as he joined me. "You're going to touch yourself while I watch. You're not going to come. When I see you getting close, I'm going to lick every inch of you and then make you come myself." _Sweet, sweet Jesus._ "Start. Now." His low voice commanded, completely in control. My hand immediately sank between my legs, beginning to work circles on the bundle of nerves at my apex. Somehow, knowing he was watching made this almost wrong. In the most delicious way possible. I let my fingers work my clit for a while until his voice came out of the darkness again.

"Not good enough. Take your other hand and place two fingers inside of yourself. Do it now." Yes-fucking-sir. I added two fingers to the mix and began to pump while my other hand was still tending to my clit. I could hear him breathing, and it was heavy; I was affecting him more than he let on. That gave me a confidence boost, and I bucked my hips a little to show I was enjoying this.

I was _really_ fucking enjoying this. "Much better," he murmured, somehow still authoritative. I began moving faster and with more urgency, feeling the sweat build up on my body and the familiar tightening begin in my belly. Before it got _really_ good, I felt his hand grab my wrist and pull me away. "Enough." He said gruffly, and I moved my hands away reluctantly. I was itching for the Big O and I couldn't stop myself from writhing around anxiously on the bed. There was a few moments when I didn't hear anything, feeling the bed adjust as he moved.

And then I felt his lips on my ankle. My _God_ he was serious when he said he was going to lick every inch of me. _Fucking A._ His tongue drew a lazy pattern all the way up my leg, the curve of my knee, my wet thigh…he licked the moisture from around my center, never actually touching the golden zone with his tongue. At this point, I wanted to grab him by the hair and force his face to where I needed it the most, but somehow I thought that would be detrimental to my orgasm outlook. I heard a noise coming from Jasper as he worked his way up around my navel and to the valley between my breasts-it sounded like a purr.

"Mmm…you taste like hot fudge…" he said, so low I almost didn't hear him. In fact, I could barely function at this point. The throbbing between my legs was reaching a frantic pitch, and I was going to explode soon if he didn't do something. When his tongue grazed each of my nipples, I thought I was going to come undone. And when he nipped at the spot just below my ear, I had to bite back a moan. "Good girl," he whispered, nipping again. I was almost in tears I was so frustrated.

By some miracle, he finally-_finally_-let his fingers wander down to my clit. He pinched lightly and then dipped his fingers inside me, curving upwards and immediately hitting the spot most guys can't find with a map.

That was all it took. Two seconds and I was fucking _flying_. I wasn't even coherent enough to scream his name, and at this point I didn't give a damn about breaking his rule. I mumbled something about religion and fudge and I was spent. While I gathered my breath and set up, I heard him stand to gather my things. "Please just tell me why you like it in the dark," I blurted in my post-orgasm high. I did this every time, but by golly I was determined to learn something about him. A man that good with his hands has to have an excuse. I heard him sigh, but I didn't get an automatic rebuttal.

"I have scars." He answered. Short, but he answered. I felt him hand me my clothes and I put them on quickly, standing up in the process.

"You shouldn't be ashamed of yourself, Jasper," I whispered. It broke my heart, the pain in his answer. He didn't say anything else as he guided me out the door. I pondered this because damned if I expected to hear _that _answer from him. Scars? What kinds of scars? They couldn't be that bad, why was he so ashamed of them? He was opening up to me now; if I came back next week maybe I could get him to sit down and chat with me about it. The receptionist was waiting for me as I left the changing room.

"Shall I schedule you for the same time next week, Miss Swan?" she asked.

"You know it," I replied.

**Okay-first thing. There's a point in this where Jasper tells Bella she tastes like hot fudge. you want a visual of Jackson saying that? Head to my profile and click the youtube link where I'm talking about hot fudge. I swear to all that is white bread you won't regret it. You'll dream about it forever.**

**Second thing-We're getting somewhere! I promise this plot is going to shake up ASAP. We've laid some pretty good ground work. Thanks for reading and sticking with me!**

**And third thing-The Darlins are hosting the 2nd annual Everything's Bigger in Texas Jasper fanfiction contest-PLEASE go nominate your faves. Just go to: http://jaspersdarlins(dot)blogspot(dot)com and click the nice little texas logo on the right. it's easy. and fun. Don't let your fave stories be passed up!**


	7. Bleed

**Several apologies here. Firstly-sorry this is sooo short. It's like a mini-chapter, actually. But it was very hard to write, and I didn't want to lengthen it past the last line-you'll see why. Secondly-sorry it took so long to get this out. But I had a very difficult time writing it.**

**Thanks to ChelsieWhitlock for beta'ing this for me, and giving me words of encouragement and being all around awesome. **

**This chapter deals with subject matter that might be taboo to some, and if this worries you, stop before you read the last chapter. Don't say I didn't warn you.**

Why did I do this to myself? I twirled Bella's phone number in my fingers for what must have been the twenty-seventh time in ten minutes. I couldn't believe myself. I was _actually_ considering calling this girl. Was I such a masochist? I looked down at the card, and knew that I was.

Not then. I wouldn't call her. If I could just get through the day, I'd be fine. I just needed a distraction. The sad thing was that my only distraction was the museum, and that was off limits. I wasn't about to go to the bar and subject myself to a line of questioning from the miniature general, but I was running out of options. I recalled a few weeks ago, and remembered Rosalie. She seemed nice, and I could use some company; but I didn't want her to think it was a date. Might as well call her and ask. Anything was better than sitting there, staring at that piece of paper. I pulled my phone out of my pocket, along with the card Rosalie gave me, dialed, and let it ring.

"_Hello?_" a voice on the other end answered.

"Rosalie? Hi. This is Jasper. I, uh, met you in the park a few weeks ago." That was the polite way of saying I interceded in a potential rape. I listened to her breathe for a minute before she answered.

"_Hello! What can I do for you?"_ she was trying to be professional. Probably confused as to why the hell I actually called her.

"Would…you like to have lunch with me? I need to get out of the house. I could meet you somewhere, if you'd like." She hesitated again.

"_Um…_"

"Not as a date, or anything, if that's what you're worried about. I just need some company." _And the only person I know is you._ I heard her chuckle quietly on the other line.

"_Yeah, okay. Meet me at the little café on the corner of Beale and Trinity. I'll see you in thirty?"_

"That would be great! Thanks." I hung up, feeling a little uncomfortable. Why was I reduced to calling someone who was very nearly a stranger, just so I wouldn't call Bella? Would it really be so bad if I did? My subconscious knew the answer, but the rest of me was too stubborn to see it. Why get to know her, if she couldn't know the real me? I dressed quickly, throwing on a nice pair of jeans and a light blue button down shirt before heading out the door.

The café Rosalie chose was nice; the patio was beautifully decorated. I chose a seat there and waited until she arrived. She rounded the corner wearing a simple emerald green summer dress-it complimented her pale skin wonderfully. She was a beautiful woman. She smiled when she saw me, sliding into the seat across from me. "Thanks for coming," I said as she reached for the menu.

"No problem. Why did you invite me? You don't know me." Well, if there was something to say about her it was that she is straight forward.

"I needed to be…away from the house." I replied vaguely, taking a sip of the water on the table.

"So who are you running from then? If you can't stand to be at home, and you're obviously not going where you normally go, what is it?" She smiled. I almost choked on my water. I didn't think I was that easy to read.

"Tell me what you really think," I replied dryly. Her answering grin was knowing. She motioned with her hand for me to continue. I sighed. "This was a bad idea, I'm sorry." I stood up to leave when her small hand caught hold of my wrist.

"Why are you afraid of people?" she whispered, pulling me back down into my seat. Suddenly, I was angry.

"Why the hell does everybody keep asking me that?" I yanked my arm away from her, not understanding the fury that was coursing through me. Alice, always wanting to know what I was thinking. Bella, constantly asking me questions after our sessions. And now, Rosalie-the stranger I rescued-seeing right through me? A spark in Rosalie's eyes told me she was going to answer.

"Because you wear a mask, and everybody can see it. Your eyes look dead, and it's like you're desperate to invite someone in but desperate to keep everybody out. I've only known you for twenty minutes, and I can see it. You obviously called me here because you needed something, so why don't you just go ahead and ask for it?" I stared at her, open-mouthed. Never in my life has anyone laid it out for me like that.

"I…I just needed to get out. I didn't know who else to call. I don't…have many friends." I felt like a third grader admitting to this stranger my lack of social skills, but I couldn't hide from her. She saw too much. She smirked a bit at my admission, and I sank further into my chair.

"And?" She prodded, taking a sip of her water.

"And I guess there's a girl who is getting under my skin." I sighed, looking away from her in embarrassment.

"What about her bothers you?" she was frowning now.

"Nothing….everything. She's nosy, but sweet. She's funny, and beautiful. But I don't do well in relationships." I shrugged, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Why not?" she prodded. My God, this girl was never going to quit!

"Because I just don't." She actually had the nerve to laugh at me.

"And you won't if you never try. Listen. I don't know what happened to you to make you so reclusive, but it's no way to live your life. You can't run away from everything and you can't hide in the dark all the time." I gave her a sharp look as the last part of her sentence registered with me, and she looked back knowingly. "I know what you do. Jasper isn't a very common name, and I'd heard…things. It doesn't take a jackass to put two and two together." At this point, I was so beyond floored that it was amazing I hadn't found my way into the basement yet.

"What….I'm a counselor." I mumbled, trying to save face. She laughed.

"A counselor. Jasper, where's your office at?" she questioned, pointing a finger at me. I continued to gape at her. "Well? I need some counseling-I have a lot of unresolved issues. Where's your office? I'll come by and book an appointment." She smirked.

"I, ah, can give you my card?" Because _that's_ a good idea. Her eyebrows raised and she started to chuckle.

"Quit lying. Jasper-women pay you to fuck the life out of them. And, from what I've heard, you do just that. And as much as I respect your mad skills, I don't want an appointment with you."

"Rosalie-you _can't_ say anything about this to anyone. Do you hear me? My business thrives on being completely anonymous-both them and myself. If this got out….I'd lose it all." I rushed, panicking.

"Take a chill pill. I won't reveal your dirty little secret. But only if you tell me why." She was serious now. I had no choice. If she told…I'd be out of business.

"I can't connect with people…normally. I can't let loose. One day, I was thinking that I couldn't do what I was doing forever-I was a bus boy. That's no job. This woman looked over and smirked at me, and I kind of smiled back, and she whispered to me that I was gorgeous and that she bet that I was a beast in the sack. I blushed and turned away, and she said it was a damn shame. It pissed me off. She walked past the store room, and I pushed her in and turned the light out. Said it was the best fuck she'd ever had. I didn't have to look at her, and she couldn't see me." I shrugged.

"So what? You just decided to open a business, doing just that? And why don't you want people to see you?"

"I put an ad out on Craigslist. And the women called. And kept calling. And I was making enough money to quit my job, and open my own location. The only person who's ever seen me is my receptionist…and now you." I ignored her second question, hoping she had enough information now to leave me alone. I was feeling raw.

"And why don't you want people to see you?" she whispered.

"I had…a rough childhood. I have scars. It's…" I trailed off. She reached over and touched my arm, urging me on. I decided the only way to tell her was to _show_ her. I motioned for her to follow me, leaving money on the table for the bill. I walked outside and to the back of the building, where we wouldn't be disturbed. I opened my shirt and pulled it off, looking away from her as she examined me.

The scars run from my wrists-crude attempts-to my arms and then my chest when I was discovered and had to hide my secret. Crisscrosses, straight lines, circles when I was feeling creative. I heard her shallow intake of breath when she looked them over.

"What happened to you?" she murmured.

"I happened." I buttoned my shirt and began walking away. "Now you know. So please-don't say anything." Her mute nod was answer enough as I fled towards my car and to my place. I slammed the door and fell onto the couch, gasping for air. I felt sick. Nobody was supposed to know. My heart was pounding out of my chest and I was breaking out into a cold sweat. What was I going to do? How could I trust her? It was going to be the end of me. I jumped up and swept everything off of my coffee table, a glass hitting the floor with a crash. "Dammit!" I exclaimed, gripping my hair. I needed an outlet. Anything. I couldn't deal with it on my own. Not again. Not anymore. The scars made me think of my parents….gone. They were gone and never coming back and I was going to be alone. Alone forever. I ran to the kitchen and rooted through the cabinets until I found the old bottle of whisky I kept in the back. I took a deep drink and tossed the bottle onto the floor before running into the bathroom. I grabbed the razor I used to shave with and brutally pulled the razor out, dragging it across my skin slowly. Not deep, no. Just…enough. The blood seeped out slowy, dripping down my arm and onto the floor. So long...I hadn't felt this relief in so long. I wanted to throw my head back with the relief of it. Physical pain overtook my emotions and I wasn't thinking of anything but the red line on my arm.

This pain was better.


	8. Whipped

**A couple of things. I apologize first hand at the meek length of this chapter, but once you see the end of the chapter you'll understand why I didn't want to continue it further.**

**All rights belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**Much, much Beta love to ChelsieWhitlock for being so amazingly quick and kind with her words. She is wonderful.**

The wounds on my arm would heal quickly; they weren't deep enough to scar.

I found myself sitting on the floor in my living room staring blankly at the wall simply because I didn't know what to do now. I felt drained…like all the emotion had been bled out of me. I knew that, for a short time, I'd be in a blissful oblivion. It wouldn't last long, though, and soon enough my worry would creep up on me like weeds on a run-down house. It would seep through my veins, and the anxiety would be back, and it would be worse. I ran my hands through my hair, wanting nothing more than to lie back and forget everything.

Sighing, I stood up and cleaned up my mess, trying not to look at the razor as I took it and threw it in the trash. It had been so long since I'd done something like that…I thought I was over it. But when Rosalie called me out, and I told her everything…I felt more vulnerable than I ever had. How did I know I could trust her? I tried to tell myself that it didn't matter, it was over now, but the worry was going to nag me to death. I desperately wanted an escape, and the only thing I could think of was work. It was my day off, so the best thing I could do is call my receptionist and see if she could wrangle me someone who wanted an early appointment. I grabbed my phone and dialed her number, apologizing first for bothering her on her day off. She assured me it was fine, and she had a list of people who would 'appreciate' an early appointment call. She told me to go ahead and go down to the office, and she'd be right in. After I hung up, I told myself I would give her a raise. I left the house immediately, making sure to throw on a long sleeve shirt on my way out. I made it to the office before Angela, but only marginally. She said the woman coming in was all too eager to take the slot, and would be arriving in 30 minutes. I changed quickly, digging through the drawers in the room trying to decide what to use while I waited. I pulled out the small leather whip I didn't use very often and set it on the side table. My mind was going ninety to nothing, and I needed to be rough. I knew my control was good enough that I wouldn't be too rough, but the release would be good.

Before long, Angela poked her head through and told me she was there. I lit the candle, turned off the light and met the woman by the door. The woman walked in, blindfolded and wearing a matching pair of black panties and a bra. Always black, I thought to myself as I led her to the bed. "Crawl to the center and back yourself up against the headboard. Wait for me there. Tell me…do you like it rough?" I hissed at her as I moved up the bed to tie her hands to the headboard. She whimpered slightly at the question. "That isn't an answer. Do you. Like it. Rough." I replied again, pinching her nipple roughly once I removed her bra.

"Yes!" she groaned, arching into me.

"Good. I'm going to whip you. If you don't like what I'm doing, you may use the safe word." I had briefed her of the rules quickly, giving her the safe word before climbing off the bed and examining the woman before me in the dim candle light. I immediately decided the position she was in wasn't going to work. "I'm going to turn you around. Your hands will be free, but if you lift them from the position I put them in, there will be consequences." She murmured a quiet 'yes' while I undid the ties. I flipped her over and positioned her hands at shoulder length in front of her, pulling her to the edge of the bed and pointing her ass in the air on her knees. I stripped myself of my boxers quickly, grabbing the woman by the hips and bringing her back roughly to rub against my erection. She pushed against me eagerly, earning her a quick slap on her left cheek. "Don't move unless I tell you to," I told her. This time she didn't respond. "Good girl." I grabbed the whip and brought it up, striking her other cheek lightly at first, and then harder. Only enough to redden the spot, not to leave a mark. By the way she was squirming already, she was rather enjoying it. "Do you like that? I know you do." I smacked the whip over her pussy lips lightly, not even enough to sting. She cried out. "Shhh…I told you to be quiet," I chastised. That earned her a harder lashing, to which she immediately silenced.

I decided that she'd had enough…hell, I'd had enough. I needed release…I needed to be moving. I thrust into her quickly without warning; she was wet and ready for me. I could tell she was biting back a moan. I watched her blonde head bob forward, and decided it was time to blow out the candle. At least in the darkness I could pretend the hair was brown, that the waist was a little slimmer….that the girl beneath me was murmuring my name in the light. My thrusts were carefully timed and more forceful than usual, but she didn't seem to mind. I leaned forward and reached around to where my hands were on her breasts, toying roughly with her nipples. Rolling them between my fingers, pulling outward, letting my palms skate across them, all the while continuing my pace. I could feel her body begin to tense around me. I imagined Bella's body; her perfect breasts, silky thighs, perfectly groomed pussy…The last thought tore my orgasm roughly from my cock as I came deeply into this woman. She followed almost immediately, roughly gasping my name as her body shook with pleasure. In the back of my mind, I knew it was wrong to be fantasizing about her….I never do that. But I haven't had an orgasm that strong in…a very long time.

I helped her dress and showed her to the exit before crashing down on the bed and covering my face with the pillow. _What is wrong with me?_ I pondered, playing over the last several days in my head. It was like I was going crazy, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. My head was spinning. I felt sick.

I needed a drink.

I thanked Angela for coming in on her day off, promising her presents and a raise before heading down the street to the bar with the crazy bartender. Alice was waiting for me at a stool when I walked in. "Been a little while, what kept you?" she asked, throwing my normal drink in front of me quickly.

"I'm not a lush, that's what," I smirked at her. She laughed.

"You're on edge. Why?" she prodded, wiping the counter in front of me. It was a slow night so far.

"Nothing for you to worry about. I'll be fine." I said. I hoped. She saw right through me.

"Yeah. And I'm going to win Miss America this year. Spill." She raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms, tapping her foot like I was really going to tell her what was going on. I think not. That had gotten me into enough trouble already.

"Just a bad day, that's all. Don't you ever have those days?" I asked. She looked at me for a moment and then nodded.

"You're lying, but whatever. Bad day. You shouldn't drink when you're having a bad day, you know that?" her frown made it clear she was angry at my lack of response.

"And a bad attitude doesn't make for great tips, do _you_ know that?" I replied curtly. She actually snorted at me.

"You're too much of a gentleman not to leave me a good tip. I'm not that stupid." While she was talking, I couldn't help but notice a rather intoxicated burly man staring at me from the other end of the bar. Alice saw where my eyes were and leaned in to whisper, "That's Emmett. He doesn't frequent, but when he does…he makes good use of his money. Very friendly, but very lonely." She turned to fill a glass for another customer. Emmett must have heard his name, because that was his cue to get up and stumble over to me.

"Hey, man…I kind of overheard what you were telling the mini-pix earlier. You sound like you've got…girl problems. I've got girl problems. Or lack of girl problems….does this girl you know have a friend?" he slurred. I frowned a little at him, but didn't quite know what to say. He looked sad, like he really just needed someone to talk to. I had been that man. I _was_ that man. So I did something I wouldn't have done, because I was already ten minutes past crazy.

"Emmett, is it? Hey-here is my card. Why don't you call me sometime, and we can talk about these girl problems?" I really just wanted the man who mirrored me to feel like he had a friend, and he took my card with a look of gratification on his face.

"Thanks, man…I don't get out much. I'll do that." He smiled lazily as he took another long swig of his beer.

"See that you do. I've got to go…early day tomorrow. It was nice to meet you, Emmett." I stood up and headed to the end of the bar, shoved a ten in the tip jar and walked out. I saw Alice smirk behind me. The drink had soothed me slightly so when I entered my home, I felt marginally better. Maybe it was seeing someone like me, or maybe it was just the alcohol.

I made a quick snack, feeling the need to eat something for the first time all day. I ate slowly, afraid that it would upset my stomach, and then feeling thankful that it didn't. I looked down at my feet and saw the number that Bella had given me. In between bites of my sandwich, I picked it up. I couldn't fathom how it could work between us, once she found out who I was. What I had done-with her. And the fact that I didn't tell her any of it.

But I'd be damned if I didn't want to see her again.

I grabbed my phone and dialed.

"Bella? It's…Peter. What are you doing tomorrow night?"

**See why I wanted to end it here? *grins* **

**Make sure you check the Darlins blog this Friday for a new segment, and if you've got teasers you can send them to us as well! We do all kinds of things. www(dot)jaspersdarlins(dot)blogspot(dot)com **


	9. Spiderman Pajamas

**Hey Lovers! Hope you enjoy this chapter, it's a little lighter than what we've been seeing. But necessary none the less!**

_Bella_

My phone was buzzing.

Who in the world would be calling me? I didn't _know_ anybody. I yanked my phone out of my pocket and stared at the caller ID like it had grown a pair of legs. _Peter?_ Wow. Well alright then.

"Hello?" I spat, because I wasn't quite sure what to make of it-he practically ran from me the last time we were together. The first time we were together. Whatever.

"_Bella? Peter. Sorry to bother you." _If this was how he asked people on dates, the guy needed help.

"You're not bothering me, Peter. What's up?" I tried to play it casual, like I got this kind of call all the time, but I was pretty sure I wasn't doing a very good job of it.

I heard him sigh, like he was confused as to why I was on the phone with him. _"What are you doing tonight?"_ he finally asked. I weighed my options. The guy…was fine. There is no doubting that. But on the other hand, he was a little spastic for my tastes. A little shy. But fine. Fine won.

"Nothing, why?" I responded, playing the good coy little girl. He hesitated-I bet he didn't even have a plan-before finally answering me.

"_Would you like to go out with me?" _Alright then. Why the hell not.

"Sure. What did you have in mind?" _Don't think I'm going to make this easy for you, boy._ I heard him breathing, but he didn't say anything. Did that boy really call me to ask me out without a plan? I'd bet money on it. Except, all of my money was going to feeding my Friday addiction. But I shouldn't have been thinking about that, considering the situation.

"_Ahh, it's going to sound kind of girly, but how do you feel about making candles?" _What the shit? Was he serious?

"Are you serious?" I couldn't help but echo my thoughts. I had never been on a date making candles. It was either very romantic, or very Amish. He chuckled.

"_Yes, I'm serious. It's a really neat place."_ He waited for me to respond. _Okay-candle making with the crazy sushi guy. I can do that._

"Yeah, okay. Candle making it is. What time? Do you want me to meet you?" I asked.

"_No-I can come get you. Message me your address, and I'll come and pick you up around 7." _I agreed, hung up and then promptly text messaged him my address. This was going to be different. I was vaguely reminded of that scene from Ghost, where Demi Moore was sculpting and Patrick Swayze was all up in her business. I hurled myself off of the couch and moved sluggishly to the bedroom to change. I didn't know where my reluctance was coming from; really, the guy wasn't so bad. It might actually be a really good time. Or maybe he was secretly gay, and taking me to a candle-making store was his way of slipping me the subtlety. Either way.

I dug through the closet for a bit, deciding on a pair of comfortable jeans, an emerald green tank top with a bit of bead work on the top, and a pair of black ballet flats. I didn't feel like messing with jewelry, so I pulled my hair up into a ponytail and called it good.

I grabbed a sandwich, since he didn't say anything about eating first, and tucked in on the couch to wait for him to show up. About 20 minutes later, I heard a quiet knock on my door. I headed over and answered it, and was reminded as to exactly why I agreed to this date. He was standing there with hair that looked like he had just rolled out of bed; which somehow looked amazing on him, a blue tee shirt and a pair of faded Levis. Holy Hotness, Batman. "Hey there," I greeted, sounding like a fifteen year old girl. He smiled, looking thoroughly uncomfortable.

"You ready to go?" he motioned for me to head out of the apartment, since I was just standing there like a jackass.

"What? Oh-yeah. Where did you park?" He pointed down to a space in the guest lot, and I followed. His car was nice. We both got in, and I stared out the window. I always thought that, when on a date, the car ride was the most awkward part. _Will this be a good date, or a bad date? Is he going to drive me out to the middle of nowhere and kill me? Does he sleep in Spiderman jammies?_ All of which are great pre-date thoughts. I looked over and saw him eying me, he grinned a little, and I couldn't help but smirk back. _I bet he sleeps in Spiderman jammies._

_Jasper_

_Candle making, Jasper? Candle making?_ I was crazy. I couldn't take her to dinner, or a movie, no. That would be entirely too normal… In all honesty, I'm just surprised she even agreed to go…I could tell she was hesitant. She was sitting in the passenger seat of the car, eyeing me like she was just waiting for me to drop the ball. Shit. I really had no idea what I was doing. _Why did I ask her out? What is wrong with me?_ "So, Peter, do you, ah, make candles a lot?" she asked, and I could hear the suppressed laughter in her voice. _She probably thinks I'm gay_. I laughed, like I was cool or something.

"No, I don't. But I've heard about this place, and I thought it would be something different to do. If you want, we could always just go for sushi instead." I smirked and raised an eyebrow at her, causing her to giggle.

"Thanks but no thanks. So what exactly is it that we'll be doing? Pouring wax into a jar?" I sighed.

"Not quite. See, you can customize the scent of your candle, put it in designer jars, all sorts of things. It's supposed to be really interesting." _Please, please let it be interesting._

"Oh really? Well, that just might be fun." She said it like she didn't expect it to be fun in the first place, and I knew that I had to kick it up a notch.

"It will be. I promise." _Stop with the word vomit, Jasper!_ I chided myself as I pulled into the parking lot of the candle store, getting out before going and opening Bella's door. She smirked at me, like someone being a gentleman was a new thing for her. We went in, and the woman who greeted us looked like a hippie. She explained what it was we needed to do, showed us to a station, and let us get to work. I eyed the scent labels, trying to find one that appealed to me as Bella moved around and sniffed them all as well. "Finding anything you like?" I asked as I pick up a bottle labeled "Fudge". She picked up a bottle and handed it to me.

"This cherry one is really nice, actually. It's not so much artificial cherry smell as it is, like, maraschino cherry. I like it. What about you?" She asked, eyeing what my hand was holding. I tossed her the fudge bottle.

"I kind of like this one. I love fudge…it reminds me of an ice cream sundae." I watched her immediately blanch at my words, and it took me all of 5 seconds to realize my folly. _She tastes like fudge. Fuck me running. I told her that. _She caught me staring and tried to compose herself quickly, opening the bottle with shaking hands and smelling it.

"Yeah, this one is good. We should mix the two; create a hot fudge sundae candle. We could throw in some vanilla even. What do you say?" _I say that a candle that smells like you is heaven in wax form._

"Sounds wonderful. What color wax?" And then I realized that fuck if I hadn't dripped wax on her too, and that I was just giving myself away left and right. _Jesus._ _She hasn't made that connection yet, thank heavens_. Instead she went over to the wax and pulled a deep red from the shelf. She held it up and looked at me for approval, which I gave. We get with the candle making, blending the scents and melting them in with the wax and then pouring it into a sundae glass-this must not be the first time someone has done this. We sat it to the side to let it cool when the attendant walked over to us.

"You know, if you're interested, we also do paraffin sculptures." I looked at her questioningly before she went on. "We could dip a rose for you, or some people like to do their hands-the wax is nice and warm, and when it's dried, it's a perfect imprint of what you've waxed." I looked at Bella, who was grinning like a fool, so I told the lady, let's do it. She took us to another station and asked what it was we wanted to paraffin. The attendant mentioned hands and flowers, but I wanted something a little more original than that…only I couldn't think of anything. Until I remembered that in my last encounter with Bella, I had licked every inch of her, and her feet were beautiful.

"How about your foot, Bella? Could we do that?" The attendant nodded, but Bella looked wary. "I mean, everybody gets the hand, or the flower-why don't we do something different? Unless you'd rather not?" I gave her the option to opt out. She considered for a moment before nodding.

"Okay, that could be…interesting." The attendant smiled and showed us how to run the paraffin machine, telling us to dip it and keep her foot elevated for 5 minutes while it dried. She said she would check on us fifteen minutes later; to make sure everything had gone according to plan. As soon as she left, Bella leaned down to pull her shoe off. For some reason, I felt the need to stop her. I walked over to her and knelt down; grabbing her calf with my left hand as I slowly pulled her flat off and set it to the side. She watched me, and when my hand grazed her bare ankle, a delicious flush crept up her neck and across her face. Sweet baby Jesus, the color of her skin had me straining against my jeans in an instant. I couldn't _not _touch her after that. I kept my hand on her calf, letting my other one grasp the bottom of her foot, trailing it up to her ankle. I locked my eyes on her, and was pleased when her mouth opened a little and her tongue darted out to moisten her lips. I wanted those lips, and I wanted them _then. _As if she knew what I was thinking, she pulled her bottom lip in between her teeth, like she was begging me to do it. _God if her skin isn't smooth,_ I thought to myself. I curled my fingers around her ankle, letting my nails graze the skin, gauging her reaction. Her eyes closed slightly, and I heard her sharp intake of breath. And then I thought, somehow with my mind and not my dick, that kissing her now would probably not be the greatest idea. Reluctantly, I stood up and lead her over to the wax station. "Let's immortalize your foot," I told her. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't pleased by her delayed reaction as she slowly stumbled up and started to follow me to the station. The table was elevated, so I had to lift her up a bit to keep her balanced. She pointed her foot and dipped it in, and I helped her move to the drying area where she held her foot up in the air long enough for it to dry. The attendant came in shortly after and helped us take the mold off, then brought us our sundae candle and rang us up. As Bella was slipping her shoe on, I asked her about the foot.

"So, who gets custody of the paraffin foot?" I joked. She looked up at me and smirked.

"I'll say that you can have it. After all, I see my feet every day. I think I can let you have that memory." That time, I laughed outright.

"I'll put it on my mantle. Hell-I may even paint the toenails." She giggled and walked over to the door with me.

"If you do that, I'll question your sexuality. Just so you know," she said, taking the bag with the candle away from me as we headed to the car.

"I have nothing to say to that," I responded, opening her door for her before heading to the driver's side door. We drove back to her apartment in relative silence, but at least it was comfortable. When I pulled up to her building, I got out to walk her to her door. She left the bag with the sundae candle in it on the passenger seat; I reached in and handed it to her. "If I get the foot, you get the candle. It's only fair." I told her, leading her up to her door.

"Well, if you insist." She rolled her eyes, reaching into her pocket to dig out her keys. She turned to face me. "Well, Peter, that was actually…really fun. You've surprised me. Thanks." She said, smiling before turning to open her door. And I knew in a millisecond that I was going to have to kiss her. Just once. I grabbed her arm and turned her back around to me, locking gazes with her.

"Can I call you again?" I whispered, moving my head down closer to hers. Her blush crept up again while she eyed me, considering.

"I think that would be…nice." _Excellent._ I took my hand and placed it on her chin, tilting her head back slightly before placing a soft, gentle kiss on her lips. I stroked her cheek once before stepping away.

"I'll do that then. Have a wonderful night," I told her, turning to head down the stairs.

"You too," she whispered before opening her door and closing it behind her.

**Tuesday is open for an appointment, leave a review and I'll take your name.**


	10. Suspended

**Hey kiddies! Thanks so much for all your great reviews. Thanks a ton to JaspersCherry, who took a look at this for me. And my Amazing Beta, ChelsieWhitlock. ****Stephenie Meyers owns. **

**Special note at the bottom**

_Jasper_

I can't believe I kissed her. What was I thinking? Oh. Right. I wasn't. She was just… so pretty, and she smelled so good…I couldn't stop myself. And now, this mess that I was already in was worse. I'd see her on Friday; I was sure she was in the appointment book. And while I was eager…far too eager… I didn't know how I could keep this up. I didn't know _why_ I was even bothering! That was the worst part. What was my fascination with this girl? Sure, she was beautiful… and smart… and funny… _geez. _I put my face in my hands and let out a huff, because fuck. I liked the girl. A lot. This was practically uncharted territory for me. As a general rule, I didn't have girlfriends. Ever. And now… I shook my head.

I decided to put it off, again, and worry about my next appointment with Bella. I had a pretty good idea of what I wanted to do; I just hoped she was into it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I didn't think Friday would come soon enough. Finally, her appointment was my next one, and I was ridiculously excited. Far too excited. I should be locked in a padded room. I could hear rustling outside the door; she was close. I practically danced to stand in front of it, yanking her inside. "I want to try something with you today. You can say no, if it does not appeal to you." I lead her near the bed, but didn't tell her to sit. "I want to restrain you from the ceiling today. Your arms will be above your head, and your body will be lowered to the appropriate height. Is that acceptable to you? Yes or no." She sucks in a breath, blushes, and answers.

"Yes." _Fuck yes._ I stand up on the bed, yanking the restraints down to where I want them. I don't use them often; in fact, it's been quite some time since I have. I grabbed Bella by the arms and instructed her to climb up on the bed and rest on her knees, which she did. I latched her wrists in, keeping them tight but not too tight, considering she'll be suspended. I tugged on the rope attached, lifting her up higher so that I could slide underneath her and lower her towards me. I had already pulled off my boxers and her underwear…but I left her bra on. She felt my hardness beneath her and stirred a little; I could see a little of her forehead wrinkle.

"I'm not going to break your restriction. Trust me." I whisper, being nicer than I normally am to these women. She wasn't just a client. The wrinkle in her forehead relaxed. _Good girl_. I pulled her against me roughly, grabbing her hips so that she was positioned just right. Her legs were on either side of mine and my cock was pressed against her heat. I planned this so that I could feel her against me; it drove me wild knowing that I couldn't actually _enter_ her. But this…this would do for now. I could easily bring her to climax with the friction, and it would be wonderful to me as well. I moved my hands from her hips, gliding them up her stomach and spreading my fingers. I leaned my head forward to brush my lips across her collarbone, back and forth, increasing the pressure until I was nipping her skin on the fifth pass. She let out little whimpers each time my teeth met her skin and it wasn't long before I found myself rocking against her. I had to be slow; maintain control. It would be far too easy to slip inside of her. Far too tempting. My hands found her breasts, still encased in her bra; I pulled it down enough to where I had access. My thumbs encircled each of her nipples; they stood at attention and said hello. I kissed them each in greeting.

I stuck my tongue out and licked each of them with the tip of my tongue. Nipples shouldn't taste good. They should taste like skin. But I'll be damned if hers weren't the sweetest things I'd had in my mouth in forever.

She liked what I was doing. I could feel her slowly start to move against me too-the friction was already pushing me close. Something so simple. While my mouth was moving from breast to breast, my hands had found their way back down to her hips where they were so kind as to assist me in pulling her harder on to me. She let out a little whine that very nearly sent me unraveling; I rewarded her by biting lightly onto her left nipple. She bucked against me and I had to concentrate very hard on not plowing into her and fucking her senseless. "Easy… yes… just like that," I speak into her stomach, and it's not a session anymore. It's her and I together, and it's a dangerous line I've crossed. My hands are frantic as she rocks and I move against her, her delicious heat coating me in the most wonderful way. Her whimpers are turning into moans, and she's pushing her chest into my face and _God she wants this as much as I do._ And I have to remind myself that she's paying for this. I don't let myself think about that for once, only thinking of her beautiful pussy as I grind myself against it. I could hear her murmuring to herself, and even though I had rules I would let her get away with it. Especially since she was murmuring "_yesyesyesyesyes…"_

My hands were moving of their own accord, yanking her back and forth almost roughly as I silently begged for more. She was panting and squirming and somehow my mouth was still working as I licked and sucked, knowing that she was close too. Her chest was heaving and _my God_ could I feel her clenching like this? I think I can. This is _best._ She shakes and pushes herself down on me with as much force as the restraints allow, and it's good that I have a hold of her hips or she would have impaled herself on my cock. Her orgasm is violent, causing every muscle to tense as she screamed my name, and I didn't need any more initiative. I felt it coming; the quick build and the explosion as my cock pulsated against her-I came harder than I had in years. Maybe ever. I lay against her, panting as she caught her breath. I realized I should move, untie her, clean her up… all of the above. I swallowed, holding on to this moment for as long as I could before sliding out from underneath her and sitting up on the bed, pulling the restraints loose and catching her as she nearly collapsed.

"It'll take a bit to get your hands warmed up, sorry about that. But you should be good to go." I handed her the panties she wore when she came in and helped lead her to the door, wondering if she was going to say something. I was waiting for more questions, but it wasn't what I got.

"Will you kiss me, Jasper?" she asked, and I was blown away. I didn't kiss on the lips. I was like pretty woman. I thought about it, because I wanted it. Bad.

_I've kissed her before._ On the date. She'd know. She'd remember, and this would be all over. I lead her to the door.

"No, I won't. Sorry." And with that, I sent her on her way.

I flopped back on the bed; her appointment was my last of the day. I didn't want to move, I felt so good. Relaxed. I stayed like that for a while actually, until my phone started to ring on the table I sat it on. Sluggishly, I stood up and grabbed it. "Hello?"

"_Uh… hey."_ A male voice replied, one that I didn't recognize.

"Who's this?" I asked, racking my brain for anyone who would be calling me right now.

"_Emmett. I met you the other night? At the bar? You gave me your card." _Oh. Huh; didn't really think he'd call me.

"What's up?" I really have no idea what to say to this guy. I could hear him breathing, trying to think of what to say.

"_I don't know. You said you had girl problems. So do I. I thought maybe we could hang? Jesus, I feel like I'm asking you out on a date or something."_ I scoffed a little.

"That I do. Sure, wanna go meet up at the bar this weekend?" I asked.

"_Yeah… that'd be great. Thanks man. Promise I'm not gay." _I laughed and told him to be there around eight before hanging up.

_Bella_

When I got back out to my car-well, more like 'flopped into my car with jelly legs', I had to give myself a minute before I could go home. I planned on driving there and promptly hitting my knees, thanking all the Gods I could name for what just took place in that dark room. I have never in my life been more turned on. Nothing will ever be the same for me. I will always compare every sexual encounter I have with that one. I turned on my AC and fanned myself because fuck if I wasn't hot as hell. I could still feel his hands on me… the warmth from below me… all of it. The best part? I mean besides the greatest orgasm ever? Was that he was into it too. Like… _really_ into it. He was murmuring into my chest, and coaxing me, and loving it. And he came, which is something he hasn't done with me. So yeah, I'd call that one big giant basket of win.

I finally had enough stamina to start the car and drive away, miraculously finding the way back to my place. _I need a nap._ Somehow I didn't think I'd get much sleep, so instead I went in to mull over the rest of my week and try to wind down.

I got up to my place, opened the door and immediately found my couch, grabbing the throw over the side and dragging it with me as I fell. I tried… really I did, to take my mind off of everything from today, but no matter what I focused on, Jaspers hands... or lips… would creep back up into my mind and I would turn into a giant puddle again. I huffed, threw myself up, and made myself go eat something. I barely tasted whatever it was-a bowl of cereal I think-and then did the dish and went back to my perch. That worked for all of five minutes. I finally decided that I just had to get out of the house, so I started scrolling through my contact list deciding on whom to call. Surely someone would be available for dinner. _I need more friends._

I did two browses before deciding that my cousin was probably the best choice. I hadn't seen her in forever, and she was actually pretty fun to hang out with. Granted, when we were together, nobody even bothered a glance in my direction, but that was fine. I put the phone to my ear after hitting 'call'.

"Rosalie? It's Bella. You doing anything this evening?"

**Heard of Fandom Gives Back? Sure you have! I'm auctioning off myself, teaming with lacym3, to bring you two treats. You can buy either an outtake of our story, Pushing Limits, or a personalized one/shot of your choice-anything you want, we will do. And you can use existing characters from either of our stories, if you want! so head on over to www(dot)thefandomgivesback(dot)com and search for lace kittens. Much, much love.**


	11. Hello, Stranger

**What's this? An actual update? Trust me, I'm as surprised as you are. I do apologize, but I've been busy working on some new beta jobs as well as a couple auction pieces that were purchased in the FGB auction. Much appriciation for your patience!**

**Many thanks to ChelsieWhitlock, my amazing Beta extrodinaire. She's always waiting with kind words and encouragement for me.**

_Bella_

"Thank you _so_ much, Rose, for coming out with me tonight," I gushed as Rosalie and I headed to a bar in town. I really needed a female to chat to, and she'd always been there for me in the past. Currently, she was grinning at me in a guilty kind of way that I knew all too well. I narrowed my eyes at her. "Rosalie, what did you do?" I accused.

"Jesus, Bella, you'd think I was luring you to your death. Tell me, are you seeing anyone?" she answered. Fantastic. I knew where this was going.

"Not really. I had a couple dates," I hinted. _Oh, and there's the guy I fuck on Fridays._ I wasn't going to tell her _that_ though.

"How mad would you be if I told you I wanted to introduce you to someone?" she grinned again.

"It depends. Is this someone at the bar we're going to?" I already knew the answer, but I had to ask anyway. I also had to resist the urge to run the other direction. Every guy Rose had ever set me up with had been…well, not my type.

"Yes. But before you kick me, or try and run, just hear me out. I work with him, and he's absolutely fantastic. He's smart, and he's probably the sweetest guy I've ever met, and for some freaking reason he's single! You've got to trust me on this."

"Why aren't _you_ going out with him, if he's so amazing?" I quirked an eyebrow at her as we continued our walk. If I knew her, there had to be a reason.

"Oh believe me, I tried. But he's not interested in me, so I cut my losses and decided to give him to you! Just give him a shot. Please. For me?" she batted her eyelashes at me and pushed out her lower lip. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm not a dude, that shit doesn't work on me. But I'll meet him, since we're almost there and it's too far for me to run back home. But if he's a creeper, I swear to Jesus that I'll cut your hair while you sleep." She made kind of a snorting noise but didn't disagree. I wasn't keen on meeting someone right then, but I wasn't ready to even consider being serious with Peter yet. I would humor her, but I was serious about cutting off her hair if this guy turned out to be a loser.

"Whatever. Come on, I see his car," she gestured as we got to the front door of the bar, "Let's go inside." I groaned but followed her in. _So much for girl talk today_. Inside, she stopped and looked around for a minute before spotting the guy and yanking me over to the table. First impression? Dude was fucking hot. His hair was….Jesus, it was like he went waterskiing and it was windblown and sexy. I could see, even in the darkness that it was a strange color, almost bronze. His eyes were green, I thought, but I couldn't be one hundred percent certain until I got closer. And his face…damn. Rose had a winner there, looks wise at least. She saw my assessment and grinned before waving at the guy and pointing to me. "Edward, this is Bella. Bella, Edward." She sat down across from him. I stood there like a jackass for a minute before waving at him and joining her.

"Hey," I whispered. _Whispered? Bella, what the hell?_ He smiled this weird kind of half smile and murmured his hello back. Rose looked between the two of us and smiled, standing up again.

"I'm going to go get us some drinks, Bella," she pointed to the bar where a small black-haired girl was tending. "I'll just get your usual, and be right back!" she bounced away, leaving me with Edward. He turned to look me full in the face-yep, green eyes. Beautiful green eyes. _Dear heavens._

"So, Bella. Rose tells me you're absolutely perfect in every way, and that you're amazing." He smiled that half-smile again and laughed.

"She flatters me so." I rolled my eyes. "Rose didn't tell me a thing about you until we were about five minutes away, so all I really know is that you work with her and you're smart and funny." I grinned.

"Why did she wait to tell you about me, I wonder?" he asked.

"I have issues. With meeting people. Mostly people Rose sets me up with-she doesn't have the greatest track record, no offense. She knew that if she told me she wanted to introduce me to someone while we were out, I'd have said no." His brow furrowed as he thought this over. I kind of wanted to reach over and smooth it out. Somehow, I didn't think that'd be appropriate.

"I can see where that would be rather annoying after so many times," he conceded. "Rose has never tried to set me up with anyone before…besides herself, anyway. So when she said she knew someone for me, I trusted her. I'm glad I did," he gave me an appraising glance, causing me to blush. _Damn my paleness, damn it straight to hell!_

"So how long have you worked with her?" I questioned, changing the subject to something that wasn't me. He kept his eyes on me the whole time.

"For as long as I've been there, probably about five years. She was great to me when I first started. We've worked a few projects together; she's one of the best they have." This, I could agree with. Rose cared a great deal about her job, and she was damn good at it. About this time, the lady in question showed back up to the table, carrying two drinks. She shoved a margarita in front of me and sat back down, trying to get a feel for the mood at the table.

"Sorry it took me so long, that damn bartender can _talk,_" she said. I knew better, and I was sure Edward did too. The conversation flowed easily between the three of us after that.

_Jasper_

Emmett showed up at my place ten minutes after he said he would. "I feel like I'm picking you up on some sort of date, man. This is weird." He scowled, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Yeah, I thought of that. Let's just walk to the bar, if you don't mind; it'll take the 'date' feel away." He nodded in agreement as I closed the door behind us.

"So what made you decide to give me a call? Is that something you normally do? Wait-are you gay? No, of course you're not-you said you had girl trouble." He rambled. I didn't know if this guy was just spazzing out or if this was his normal behavior, but I was hoping it didn't make me regret calling him. I really just needed a guy to talk to.

"I really just needed a guys night, I guess, and you're really the only guy I know. That makes me sound like some sort of recluse, doesn't it? I work a lot, so it's hard for me to find friends…that are men. I work with a lot of women," I wanted to laugh at my inside joke.

"What do you do?" he was kicking a rock on the sidewalk, like a five year old.

"I'm a counselor. I either do a lot of work in the office, or a lot of home visits. So it's hard for me to find time away for friends." He nodded as I talked. "What about you?"

"Oh, I run a gym. I make my own hours and stuff." Looking at this guy, I could see how this would be a career for him. He was tall, and he was _muscular._ He would probably scare me if I cared enough to be scared. Something about him told me he'd never hurt someone unless he had to though, so I didn't worry about it.

"Hey, that's actually pretty cool. Do you do like personal training and stuff?"

"Why, you interested?" he chuckled. I frowned, looking down. I thought I was in pretty good shape. "No, man, I was just fucking with you. We do it at the gym, but I haven't done that in a while. I do if someone requests me, but it doesn't come up often anymore. I prefer to be in charge now anyway." I didn't respond since we'd arrived at the bar, instead pushing the door open and heading inside. I waved to Alice, who waved back and smiled. Her smile grew when she saw I was with Emmett. He was scanning the crowd as I was making my exchange with Alice. I was suddenly hit in the ribs by a very large elbow.

"Dude, Emmett, what the hell!" I cried, clutching my chest. He wasn't even looking at me.

"Look at that _chick_ over there in the corner! The one sitting with the brunette and the dude!" he pointed. I should have known he was looking for women. I followed his finger and almost choked on my breath. It was Rosalie. My eyes scanned over to the man, whom I didn't know, and then to the brunette, who was facing away from me.

Son of a bitch.

Bella.

Bella was there. With Rose. Who knew what I was. Knew the real me. How the fuck did they know each other anyway? Shit. I was panicking. If Rose saw me, and Bella saw me, I'd be caught in my lie. I wasn't quite ready for that. I yanked on Emmett's arm like the scared little bitch I was.

"What, man?" he asked, annoyed as I interrupted his Rose-gazing.

"We have to go. I have to go. Now." I tried to convey with my voice how absolutely vital it was that I left the building right that instant.

"What? We just got here! Why? I wanna talk to the hot chick first!" He complained.

"No, man, you don't understand." I knew as I said this I'd have to explain myself, but at this point in time I didn't really care. "Remember my girl trouble? Well the girl is here. She can't see me, she just can't. I have to go-are you coming or not?" I asked as I walked towards the door. He frowned but followed me out.

"Which girl? It wasn't the blonde was it? Explain yourself man, because I don't leave hot chicks for just no reason." I groaned.

"Yeah, okay. Let's just go grab something to eat down the street there, and I'll explain everything. Sorry." He nodded and followed me into a diner away from the bar. We ordered a couple of burgers and I got to talking. I wasn't happy about having two people in on my secret, but instinct told me my secret was safe with this guy. That is, unless he was pissed that I lied to him not fifteen minutes ago about my entire life. "So yeah, I know the blonde. But she's not the girl I have trouble with. It was the brunette that was with her. And she thinks I'm someone else, which is why we had to go." Emmett looked thoroughly confused.

"Wait, what now? She thinks you're someone else? Why?" He took a draw off of his straw.

"Okay. Listen. There's something you have to know about me. But before I tell you, You gotta swear not to say a word to anyone. _Anyone._ You understand? If you can't agree to that, I'll get up and leave right now."

"Hey man, easy. I don't go around telling people's secrets. It's all good," he replied, and I could see the truth in his eyes.

"Thanks. I'm not a counselor," I blurted.

"Okay, so what do you do?"

"Women pay me to have sex with them. I have an office downtown. It's kind of…I keep the lights off and shit, and the chicks are blindfolded, so they don't know what I look like, and it's the anonymity of the whole thing that makes the money." He was gaping at me.

"So what, you're like…a hooker?" I sighed.

"No. Yes. Not in that sense. I don't walk around on the street or anything. People make appointments."

"Whatever. Hooker. Go on," he prompted.

"So the brunette-her name is Bella. And she's….I've seen her in my office before. But she doesn't know me. I met her outside of work once, and I knew who she was…but naturally she didn't recognize me. And I thought she was pretty, and for some reason I'm, like, interested in her, so I approached her. But she thinks my name is Peter. So if she would have seen me in the bar, she would have thought I was Peter."

"So what's the problem with that? I could call you Peter, no big deal," He said. I liked him for that.

'The big deal is the blonde you had your eye on? Knows exactly who I really am. And she knows Bella, and she'd think I was Jasper, and Bella would think I was Peter….I'd get caught." I spit out, ashamed.

"Dude, you weren't fucking kidding when you said you had girl problems." I barked out a laugh at his response. "But okay. I get it. You like this Bella girl. But you know you're going to have to tell her sometime, right? She's gonna get wise eventually. You'll slip."

"I know. I know! But not yet. I have to decide how to tell her. And I can't let Rosalie in on the fact that I know Bella…because Rosalie seems like the kind of girl to kick my ass for it. Especially if she and Bella are close."

"Rosalie is the blonde?" he was smiling.

"Yeah, she is. She's actually…kind of nice."

"You think you could introduce me sometime?" I laughed at this.

"Probably. For now, we're going to have to go to a different bar, because I have _got_ to have a drink. That cool with you?"

"Man, I think I've found someone with worse problems than me. Hell yeah it's fine, let's go!" he stood and the two of us went to the other side of town.

_I think I could be friends with this guy. _

**So have you heard of the Single Shot awards? You should google them. And then go vote for me and Tiffaninichole; our collaboration, Three's Company, was nominated for Best Lemon!**


	12. Red Ink

**I know. Trust me, I know. Let's just say I took some time off and went back to school. Good part is, I graduated. Bad part is I've been a huge fail. My apologies. Regardless, I will finish this story, no matter what. If you're still reading, this chapter is mostly in Bella's POV, with a little snippit of Jasper.**

**Disclaimer-not mine.**

Bella

Edward walked me home that night. We all had just a bit too much to drink, and I was going to share a cab with Rosalie, but he offered and said he would take a cab once we got to my apartment. At first, I was worried that he wanted to come in, but the entire way home he was a complete gentleman. When we got there, he walked me to my door and told me he had a wonderful time. He asked if he could see me again. I said yes. A twinge of guilt hit me, thinking of Peter, but we weren't exclusive. And we'd only had one real date. What would it hurt to explore this? Edward was…insanely attractive, smart, funny, and polite. Rose liked him, and although her judgment about guys for _me_ wasn't always good, she wouldn't set me up with someone she didn't trust. The perverted part of my mind was also screaming about my weekly appointment, because if I got serious with one of these boys, I was going to have to give those up. No guy was gonna want to get serious with a girl who paid a guy to have sex with her. I should definitely keep that part to myself. Speaking of, I had an appointment this weekend that I was already looking forward to. I was kind of wound up, if you know what I mean, and hanging out with several hot guys definitely didn't help my case. It was sad that even the thought of some self-love wasn't appealing to me at all anymore; I was getting spoiled. I collapsed onto my bed, thinking of Friday, and was asleep before I even got to the good part.

The next day, Rose was, of course, badgering me about my walk home with Edward. And after I reassured her no less than two billion times that I _did not_ sleep with him, or give him a blow job, OR let him tune my tires, she left it alone. By my lunch break, Edward had already left a message for me on my phone, and by the time I met Rose for drinks after work and told her, she was back to squealing. Edward was taking me out on Saturday. I won't lie; I may have done a little back flip.

Whatever happened the rest of the week is beyond me, because the next thing I knew it was Friday and I was skipping like Dorothy to my appointment. The receptionist called me by name when I walked in the door, to which I smiled and waved back, heading straight for the changing room. Next thing you know I'd be asking her for drinks on the weekends. She chuckled as she followed me into the changing room, not even bothering to explain to me the rules as I stripped down to my under things and practically pranced to the door. She wrapped the blindfold around my head, my vision immediately going black as I practically tittered with anticipation. I couldn't imagine what he had in mind today; my heart was in my throat at the possibilities. I squealed, on the inside of course, when the door opened and he took my hand to lead me inside. Instead of walking me to the bed like he normally did, I felt him tug me to the center of the room and let go. I knew he was watching me; his footsteps were circling my body. My skin immediately flushed in response. "You've been such a good girl. I don't think I'll tie you up today. Instead…" I felt his breath on my ear suddenly. "Instead, I think I'd like to fuck you against the wall." His breath was nothing more than a warm whisper, but I felt like the words echoed around the room. I couldn't help but wonder how many other women he's said that to, or if I was the only one. I didn't get much of a chance to think about it, because the next thing I knew I was pressed roughly against said wall with his mouth against my throat. Out of habit, I stayed very still, but I was dying to get my hands on him. His hands were roughly grabbing at my bra, practically ripping it from my body as his mouth dove for my nipple. Had my eyes been open they'd have rolled back into my head. As it was, my back was arching towards his mouth, wanting to feel his lips everywhere. His hands were gripping my hips firmly, holding me in place, his tongue flattening against me before his lips wrapped around my nipple and sucked. I was panting, not at all ashamed that I hadn't been in here fifteen minutes. As he moved to the other side, I felt myself go weak in the knees. He must have been paying attention, because almost immediately he slid his hands down to my thighs and lifted me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist, glad for the support and more than a little smug that he was _clearly_ ready to go. I gave a perfunctory thrust of my hips to showcase my appreciation. The resounding growl from his throat let me know it was the right thing to do. I felt him step out of his boxers and shake them away, all the while his lips never leaving my skin.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Bella, you taste so good…" he groaned, sliding his hand down my stomach and past the hem of my underwear. I couldn't stop from groaning at the feel of his long, talented fingers as they stroked and caressed me, my body on fire with need. I didn't dare say so; this was his game after all. My hips, however, had a different idea in mind as they rocked against his hand, practically begging for more. His teeth scraped my skin, causing me to gasp out, a strangled cry of desire passing my lips. That was the last cue he needed before he was ripping my underwear from me; I wasn't going to be wearing _those_ home. Within seconds, he was inside me; I hadn't even heard the crinkle of a condom wrapper, but knew he was wearing one. His hips were forceful as they pushed and pulled, the friction maddening. I couldn't wait another second; my hands were in his hair, yanking his face to mine, needing to feel his lips. I don't think I realized, until just then, exactly how this time was different. He wasn't working. This was equal on both sides. His breath was fast against my lips, his teeth nipping and pulling mine, his hands everywhere. I took a chance and pulled my mouth away, dragging my lips down his jaw and to his throat, licking and sucking everywhere I could reach. I'm fairly certain I heard a string of soft profanities, but I couldn't hear over my heart pounding. I was grasping at him, desperate for purchase as he moved harder and faster, his pace very nearly erratic, and more than enough to drive me over the edge. I felt his fingers on my clit, urging me on, circling rough and fast, and then I was flying. I literally saw stars behind the blindfold as my orgasm ripped through me; my back arched, my fingers were fisted in his hair, and I let out this guttural animal grunt that just couldn't be stopped. And then there he was, right after me, his body stilling as he tensed, my name falling from his lips in a soft whisper. I found my head resting on his shoulder, breath coming out in short pants as we both collected ourselves.

When he sat me down, I realized, through a fog of post-orgasmic haze, that I had only seconds to come up with a question. Instead of asking something profound, I blurted: "What's your favorite dessert?"

I swear to the ceiling cat that he laughed before answering, "Hot fudge sundaes."

Jasper's POV

I went home kicking my ass the whole way. Hot fudge sundaes? Really? I must be a glutton for punishment. I was practically begging her to realize it was me. Because _that_ was the most desirable outcome at this point? What was I thinking? Oh, that's right. I wasn't. I was, in fact, going crazy.

I spent the next few days trying, albeit futilely, to keep Bella out of my mind. And failing. Miserably. I practically lay around my living room in the morning, mooning like a teenage boy, until it was time for me to get up and go to work. Thankfully, work was a pleasant distraction. Considering my line of business, I'd be in deep if it wasn't. I avoided the bar like it was the plague, because I couldn't handle the thought of an Alice interrogation. I considered calling Emmett a few times, but I just couldn't bring myself to even act like a social creature. Instead, after work, I went home, ordered take-out and lounged around in my pajamas. Secretly but not-so-secretly counting down until Bella's next appointment. I refused to look in a mirror-I couldn't stand to look at myself. I was pathetic. Why didn't I just call her? So she had a date. Not like I asked her to be exclusive. Hell, I didn't even want to think about the number of women I was with on a weekly basis. Granted, it was my job…see, there I go again.

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday…all the same. Wake up, eat, lounge, work, home, eat, lounge. Thursday night, I slept better than I had all week, knowing that at least tomorrow, I could see her. Something was nagging at me, something my mind was trying to conjure up, but if I was behind honest with myself, I was certain I didn't want to know what it was.

When I got to the office the next day, I eagerly went to the register where the appointments were kept, eager to see what time she was coming in, only to feel my heart sink into my stomach. Next to her name was a word that I had never seen in my office before: Cancelled.

Bella's POV

Oh my God, I cancelled some of the best sex I'd ever had. I was actually pacing around my apartment, my phone still in my hand, and I was shaking. Why was I shaking? Oh yeah. Because I cancelled. On Jasper. Because for some reason, my moral compass took over and the thought of having sex with him and then going on a date with Edward the next day seemed wrong on so many levels I didn't even want to calculate them. It was the right thing to do. Yes. If I told myself that enough, maybe my body would understand and quit rebelling against me. Because quite frankly? The rest of me was pretty pissed off. I hated to tell the rest of myself that it was only going to get worse, because I had no intentions of hopping into bed with Edward tomorrow night. Probably.

So why was I having such a hard time not rushing down to his office and begging them not to give away my appointment slot? Oh yes. The amazing sex. But no! I wasn't going to go. Because it would be wrong. And I don't want to be _that girl._ I wonder how many other women there were, just like me, counting down the days until their next appointment with him. More than I wanted to know, I was sure of it. Ahh, there we go. That was helping with the resisting. He would have plenty of women to occupy his mind, I was allowed to have a date. I stopped myself; was I really thinking like this? Like we were some sort of couple? And oh hell, I completely forgot about Peter! Okay…not completely. But he hadn't called me, so I was _trying_ not to let my mind go down that road. Because quite frankly, I had enough on my mind as it was. And stuffing one more boy in my thoughts just wasn't a good idea right now.

It was settled. I wasn't going to my appointment, and I had a date with Edward tomorrow, and I was _going to have fun._


	13. Well Fuck Me

**yeah, I know. Don't even go there. *grins* But it's here, albeit ridiculously short. The reason it is short is because I wanted to give you something, and I wanted to keep the really good stuff for the next chapter. *evil laugh* I was torn, deciding whether I wanted to make this a huge chapter, or split it, and I opted to split. So here is the explanation I promised so many of you when you reviewed me with loving 'what the actual fucks'. I hope I'm making sense with this. But trust me, we'll be getting into what exactly happened between Jasper and Bella in the next chapter. You can thank one of the new Jasper's Darlins for this chapter, for flattering me into finishing it. She knows who she is.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine. **

Bella's POV

I was getting ready. I tied my hair up-I didn't feel like messing with it, I rarely did-settling for a blue ribbon tied around my ponytail. I ran my hands down my white eyelet shirt and tugged at the hem of my blue jeans. This was good, wasn't it? I looked good. But not _too_ good-I probably wasn't going to put out. Now I knew for certain I wouldn't. I was digging through my closet, trying to find an acceptable purse to take with me when it hit me. I could feel the blood leaving my face, the room started to spin…the works. I slumped against the wall.

_I had sex with Jasper._

I walked in that room, and I let him have me against the wall, and I didn't even _remember_ that was…that we had never…_What was I thinking?_ All this time…all these weeks! And just the sound of his voice, a touch of his hand, and I completely fucking _forgot_ that wasn't in the stipulations! How the hell did I forget? That's not like forgetting milk at the grocery store. That's big. This is big. And he let me? Hell! It was _his_ idea! I growled under my breath as I stormed around the room, half tempted to drive down to his office and demand an explanation. I was barely able to process it as I tried to finish getting ready. Why? Why would I….It didn't make sense! He knew full well it wasn't part of it; he'd been with me enough. And here I was thinking we had a nice little…a nice….

_A nice little what, Bella?_ I paid him for sex. That was all. Dear God, don't tell me I was having feelings for him too! I sat at my kitchen table and put my face in my hands. I needed to man the fuck up. This shit had to stop, and it had to stop now.

I picked up the phone and dialed Edward's number. I was in no frame of mind to go on a date, so I apologized and asked if we could go out tomorrow night instead. I threw on a pair of shoes and grabbed my purse, everything else forgotten as I made my way towards Jaspers office.

Jasper's POV

I was meandering around my office in a morose mope, my last appointment for the day having left already. I was cleaning up, changing the sheets, things of that sort, when my gaze wandered to the wall.

_That Wall._ Holy shit. Wait a second. I wasn't supposed to sleep with her. And….I did. I fucked her, good and proper, right up against that wall. Why didn't she stop me? I broke my contract with her. And she liked it, and acted like it was nothing. I found myself sitting on the floor, absolutely, utterly confused. How does this happen…and how does it get by me?

I sat there, blinking at my hands for a few minutes when a slow realization came to me. It was natural. It felt….normal.

Fuck me.

Is that why she cancelled? Fuck. She probably thinks I'm some sort of fucking pervert…even though I am and that's my job and now I'm just talking fucking jibberish. What did I even do? Call her? Apologize? No. Peter….I needed to be –him- and test her mood, and see what's going on and…I let out a deep sigh as I listened to my own thoughts. I've gone absolutely mad. This dangerous web of lies was growing bigger and bigger, and I couldn't help but think maybe I should just…leave it alone and call it good. Save myself the trouble. And then I thought of her, and I felt sick.

And that's when I knew I was _really _fucked.

I needed to go. I needed to go home, and figure this out, and decide what I was going to do. I raked my hands through my hair almost frantically, pulling and tugging as I tried to get a handle on myself. I could fix this…I could. Rationality, that's the key.

I was formulating a good plan from my spot on the floor when I heard the doorbell ding, indicating someone coming in. I cocked my head to the side to listen, not used to people coming in after hours. I stayed where I was though, just in case it was a client.

But it wasn't just any client. It was Bella. And I could tell this because her normally melodic voice was full of pure, unadulterated _rage_. I could hear her screams from here, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't just slightly terrified.

"Where in the actual fuck is he, Angela?" she screamed, and I could actually feel the blood rushing from my face. I wasn't scared of her…I was scared of her seeing me. Then she would know. She would _know_. "I have a bone to pick with him so if he's hiding back there…" she trailed off for a moment, "You hear that, Jasper! If you're back there you better get your happy ass out here RIGHT NOW."

Son. Of. A. Bitch.

What do I do? Do I run? This place had a back exit.

"So help me God, I will come back there and get you!" she screeched, and I could hear Angela trying to quell her. It wasn't working. I could hear her shuffling around behind the counter. _Fuck me. _This was going to happen, and I didn't have anything to say to this woman.

This can't happen now. I was panicking. Full blown panicking. Before I knew what I was doing, I was on my feet, and I was running, and then I was outside. I climbed in my car and peeled out of there like I was motherfucking Batman.

I, Jasper Whitlock, ran like a bitch.

Bella's POV

I thought I was going to have to fight Angela. I didn't want to do that, she was a sweet girl. But she wasn't letting me _tear him a new one._ She kept going on and on about him not being there, but I didn't believe her. I could feel him, like that wasn't creepy. So I gave her my best 'get the fuck out' face I could muster and shrugged past her, thrusting open the back office door and looking around.

Asshole wasn't here. I narrowed my gaze and took a look around, but I was rewarded with nothing. Slinking back up front, I mumbled an apology to Angela, who looked surprisingly un-surprised at my intrusion, before walking back out and getting into my car.

I needed a new plan. I wanted to place all the blame on him, I really did…but I knew that I couldn't. Because I was there too, damnit, and I liked it. I didn't say anything, and I didn't even fucking notice, and I needed to sit down and figure out exactly why that was.

I needed Rose. I was going to fess up everything. Because I needed someone to help me make sense of myself, and I couldn't do it alone.


End file.
